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Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Dawn Goodwin
  3. WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Dedication
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. Acknowledgements
  55. About the Author
  56. An Invitation from the Publisher

I hastily scribble a note on a piece of paper torn out of the back of my lab book, telling Tracey to meet me on the bench on the coastal path after school. I wait, on edge, for a suitable moment to pass it to her. The moment comes when she has to walk past my desk to collect her protective glasses from the front of the room. When she does, I slip it into her hand. She stumbles, frowns at me and I shake my head ever so slightly. She crumples the note into her fist and continues past.

The teacher’s voice is soporific, interminably dull, and I close my eyes. I can feel the drugs dispersing through my bloodstream, imagine them like a vapour, curling tendrils teasing and tickling. I lay my head on my arms and listen to my breath.

“Don’t let me keep you from your nap, Miss Tillsbury.”

My eyes snap open and I see that everyone is staring at me, laughing, the teacher standing with his arms crossed, glaring.

“Sorry, sir,” I mumble, flushing.

“Maybe an experiment will wake you up. On your feet, everyone. Pair up, please.”

Eloise is straight at my side. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired. I drank a bit last night while I was watching TV – you know, since my parents are away and I can do what I like – so I’m a bit hungover today. And he is so boring, his voice is killing me.”

“God, I know! You are so lucky! I wish I was staying on my own.”

She has no idea. I wish I had parents who worried, who didn’t want to leave me, wanted to spend their evenings in my company, discussing our day and playing board games, lamely arguing over what television programme to watch as a family.

But I’ve never had that. And I now know I never will.

In fact, I wish my parents were dead.

31

NOW

Mills arrived back just as Helen emerged from the study.

“Did you find her?”

“She was in the village, but then I think she saw me because she took off and I lost her. Mum, what’s going on?” Her voice was diminished with worry.

“I don’t know,” Helen replied truthfully. “But the one person who does is Diana.” Helen thought for a moment, then said, “Do you still have her phone number?”

“I have her on Snapchat. Why?”

“I think it’s time I met up with Diana, had a conversation with her, find out what her intentions are with Lydia. I saw them the other day, Mills. It’s weird. It’s not right.”

“You really think they are together?” It was Matt, standing on the stairs, the stained glass window casting sharp shards of garish colour across his anguished face.

Helen looked up at him. “I know what I saw. But I don’t fully understand it.”