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Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Dawn Goodwin
  3. WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Dedication
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. Acknowledgements
  55. About the Author
  56. An Invitation from the Publisher

“Sorry, I had to change the meeting place. Mills followed me and I know you said not to tell anyone where I was going.”

“That’s fine, you did well, but we are very exposed here. Anyone could come along. Mills could still be watching.”

“No, I lost her, I made sure of it.” Lydia said quickly.

“Did you though, Lydia?”

Lydia started to doubt herself. She strained to look over Diana’s shoulder, panic gripping her. She didn’t want to disappoint Diana. She thought quickly. “Ok, come on, the pool house is open.”

She pulled on Diana’s hand. They pushed and ducked through the ivy-covered gate.

“We should just tell people,” Lydia said, breathless. “About us, I mean. Fuck everyone if they don’t like it. Fuck those little bitches at school – they can spread as many rumours as they want, call me whatever. I don’t care. I’ve accepted who I am and I’m ready to own it. Isn’t that what you’ve been telling me I should do? To own my own truth?”

She felt alive, empowered, stronger than she thought she could be, and it was all because of Diana.

Diana stopped just outside the pool house door. “I’ve explained this to you, Lydia. We can’t go public, not yet. It wouldn’t go down well with anyone. I don’t want things to get hard for us when it is going so well. There is a difference between being empowered and being impatient. You have to choose your moment to shine. We still have so much to accomplish. You’re too young to understand yet.”

Lydia felt her heart plummet to the floor of her stomach. They stepped inside. Condensation clouded the glass.

“Did you bring it?” Diana asked.

Lydia stepped back, saw the hungry look on Diana’s face. “That’s all you care about.”

Diana sighed. “What are you talking about?”

“This!” She brandished the tote bag. “It’s all you talk about now. These stupid diaries!” Ironically, the bag was from The Owl and The Pussycat bookshop. “Why are you so obsessed with her? It’s like you’re in love with her or something.”

“Lydia, now you’re being childish.”

“I could just tell them anyway, you know. I don’t care what they say.” She reached out with trembling hands. “I love you.”

The words hovered in the air, suspended, like a held breath. She waited for Diana to say the words back to her, but instead they fell onto the tiles and shattered into a million tiny pieces.

“Lydia, give me the bag. We can talk about the rest of it when you are less emotional.”

Diana snatched at it and the strap broke, spilling the contents onto the lounger between them like a loaded bomb, its timer ticking loudly.

30

THEN