But he has no intention of leaving either social psychology or the Republican Party. Lately, Robert’s approach to comments about “evil Republicans” has largely been to ignore them. In his grad school days, he spoke out a few times, but his desire to do that has ebbed. “Committee meetings drag on anyway, and if we fight about things that don’t matter, we’ll be there forever,” he said.

He’s well liked in his field; he stays that way because, he says, he “keeps politics out of everything.” He likes liberals—how self-reflective and compassionate they are—and seems reluctant to offend them.

That’s despite the fact that now, there’s a big, loud elephant in the room: Trump. The morning after the 2016 election, one of Robert’s colleagues came in to Robert’s office, closed the door, and said, “It’s happening. The Nazis are taking over. I can’t fathom how anyone would vote for this person—all these racists!”

“Wait.” The man paused. “Who did you vote for?” he asked Robert.

Robert responded that he voted for Trump.

The man left without saying another word.

It might have been the right thing to do, Robert says. He has liberal relatives, but they simply don’t argue about politics when they get together.

Robert’s abstention from political talk is shrewd, in a way. People assume he’s liberal; they assume he’s one of them. Why disturb that notion unless absolutely necessary? I don’t usually tell people I’m Russian unless they demand to know. If you’re getting away with being weird, why ruin it for yourself?

Robert and I both decided to remain surrounded by people different from us. But some people just don’t wish to cope with the daily discomfort of being weird. For them, seeking out their own tribe is the only way forward.

Chapter 13

Leaving

In May of 2018, I returned to McKinney, the Dallas suburb where I attended high school, to meet with a man who left home in order to be with people who are just like him. The previous year, Paul Chabot had moved to McKinney from California, his home, to be among like-minded Republicans. And now, he was encouraging other people to do the same thing, through an organization he founded called Conservative Move.