Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Leslie how we could keep another Jonestown from happening. The short answer? We can’t. Though precise numbers are hard to come by, there appear to be hundreds of cultlike groups operating in North America today. It’s a need to belong, Leslie said, that explains their power.

The human desire for love and kinship is so strong that charismatic monsters like Jones can turn it against us. The only antidote is trusting that inner, moral sense that something is not quite right.

Alex, Part II

Alex, the Mormon missionary in Bulgaria, soon grew tired of the “I’d like to share a short message” opener, so he instead began offering the people he met free English lessons, or just to be friends. (The English lessons, he told me, didn’t have to mention the Church.) He told himself that at least he was making connections—ones that might lead to a religious conversion later on.

But as his mission progressed, Alex’s enjoyment of it did not. He realized that this was an experience he would never get to share with anyone else. He would not be speaking Bulgarian back in California. He would not remain friends with the Bulgarians he met when he was out proselytizing.

He threw himself into practicing dancing, his lifelong hobby, and he learned to play “Clair de Lune” on the piano. He began to study French on top of Bulgarian, just for fun. Perhaps, he thought, he’d at least come back a better person. When he allowed himself to, he made mental lists of things he missed: ice, vending machines, customer service…not to mention his girlfriend, his family, his life.

It’s worth noting that Alex’s experience is not necessarily typical of Mormon missionaries. I also spoke with a man named Taylor, a missionary who served in the Czech Republic, which bills itself as being one of the most atheistic places on earth. Yet, Taylor told me he was never discouraged, not even in the middle of the long, dark winter. Not even when he was shoved into elevators or had knives pulled on him. For Taylor, the experiences only fortified his faith.

Alex, meanwhile, often fantasized about quitting. But doing so would be social suicide: his girlfriend’s parents were active in the church, and he felt she was expected to marry a returned missionary. Leaving early might mean their relationship would be over.

In the end, he completed his mission. His girlfriend welcomed him back, and they married not long after his return. The mixed feelings Alex had about his Mormon mission, however, didn’t end when he came home. He opposed the church’s stance on homosexuality and other social issues. He was associated with an when she organization that, in his view, “caused so many people pain.”