When Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender publicly, students emailed Beverly to say her class helped them understand what “transgender” meant. One said she had used Beverly’s teachings to explain the concept of gender identity to people in her church, and one preacher’s daughter whispered to Beverly that her class had “opened her eyes.” Another former student wrote to say the class had fundamentally changed the way she viewed parenting a boy. As she and her young son wandered through a toy store, the boy asked for a doll. “Before I took your class, I would be the first person to say, ‘Absolutely not,’” the student said, according to Beverly. “Now I realize how ridiculous that is.”

Beverly quoted a phrase from social-science research that sums this up well: “What is becomes what should be.” People didn’t approve of interracial marriage until there were lots of interracial marriages. Once interracial marriage became “what is,” few would discourage an interracial couple from marrying. Norms can change, even in Wichita Falls.

Asma, Part II

By using strategies like idiosyncrasy credits, Beverly and others I spoke with were able to stay true to themselves while living in places where few other people shared their beliefs.

Another way my interviewees combated the social anxiety that can arise from standing out was, frankly, by simply not giving a hoot what people thought of them. This was what I noticed when I spoke with Asma, the Muslim woman from a small Southern town.

When I met up with Asma at her apartment in New York, I was instantly disappointed that I couldn’t use my journalistic trick of using the person’s surroundings to gather clues about their personality. Her place was filled with nearly the exact same IKEA furniture as mine, down to the pillows. They’re all Craigslist finds, she noted. She joked that New York is just the same ten pieces of furniture being shuffled from one apartment to another.

Asma found that growing up, she could usually fight off her peers’ Islamophobic comments and prejudices, but that occasionally it was easier to conform. One of her high school teachers ran a charity drive for “Christmas giving,” and Asma contributed her pocket money, even though she knew her parents wouldn’t approve. Along with the rest of the school marching band, she bowed her head to pray before every performance.

Other times, though, she would flout social conventions, even though doing so would attract even more attention to her. She fasted in school on Ramadan, and after college she began wearing a hijab.

The need to explain her differences didn’t end at high school. For college, Asma went off to a traditional four-year university in a more diverse area. Before classes began, she thought to herself, Surely not everyone will drink in college.