He paged through the progression, the gradual relaxation. To today. A day where there were no more procedures. Just appointments, plans for lunch, and plans to go catch up with the Wardens. I’d kept up the use of the black paint, but used it to draw the circle, fat and bold and brutish, crushing brush against paper, tracing it around the base of my water cup. Then I’d drawn lighter things and feelings within.

“Walls?” Darnall asked, touching the thick border.

“Maybe.”

“This doesn’t make up for you skipping visits, but it’s good to know how you were doing and how you are doing,” he said. “There was another thing I wanted to say, again, I’m touching back on what I said before. Goals. Making goals, meeting goals.”

“Doesn’t feel like I’m meeting goals while being kept out of this Teacher bullcrap while the other teams are struggling to get in.”

“When we had our first session you floundered a bit, or—not floundered. Flailed. But you told me a few things that came from the heart and sounded genuine enough that I think they hold true on your best days and your worst days. You wanted to save them. People you cared about, that were put into your charge.”

I focused on Sveta, who was walking across the floor. She looked up, saw me, and squeezed her fish, its eyes bulging out.

Then she disappeared into the locker room to have her shower and get changed.

“I have to admit, I thought it would be a good dramatic moment if she was there when I said this next bit, but… she looks like the weight of a world is off her shoulders, doesn’t she?”

I folded my arms, leaning against the window. I gave him my best stern look. “I think if you keep on talking like that, I’m going to get misty-eyed.”

“Is that so bad? You say you’re frustrated but… let it out? If you’re at the verge of being well and truly emotional for positive reasons, or with people you care about, then do.”

I thought about my earlier feelings about Anelace. Ethan. I didn’t want to date him. I didn’t even like him as more than an acquaintance, let alone a romance of any kind. But he hit the right marks for a fling, a test run. I could imagine him being cool. Awkwardly up-front and blunt, but cool.

“This might be a cape thing, because I’m worried if I do let it out then I might go overboard and hurt someone.”

“First of all, I have to say, if the emotions are positive, can they really hurt someone?”