Joey sways. He might fall.

If he falls he might never rise again.

Suddenly everything stops, the war stops.

Joey doesn’t change but around him appears a mist.

TWENTY-EIGHT

No man’s land. 10 November 1918.

We begin to realise that Joey is between opposing positions (not necessarily trenches at this stage of the war) – Germans on one side, British on the other.

A Geordie sentry, Geordie, glimpses Joey.

Geordie Stand to! Stand to!

Sergeant Thunder (now a Regimental Sergeant-Major) What is it, Geordie?

Geordie I saw something moving in no man’s land.

Sergeant Thunder What was it? The whole effing German army or just one or two of them out for a pre-breakfast stroll?

Geordie Wasn’t a man, Sarge – looked more like a horse or a cow to me.

Sergeant Thunder A cow or a horse? Your eyes are playing tricks on you – or perhaps you think it’s an effing Trojan horse, or a Trojan cow, an elaborate ploy by Jerry to –

Geordie Honest, Sarge, I saw it.

Sergeant Thunder Well, I can’t see anything, and that’s because there’s nothing there. You’re all of a jitter, Geordie, and you’ve gone and woken everyone up because you thought you saw an effing quadruped. But now we’re here, and there’s a London pea-souper out there, I want you to keep your eyes peeled for Germans, trez beans? Toot sweet, an’ all.

Geordie I did see it, Sarge.

Sergeant Thunder There’ll be a rum ration in a minute, Geordie. After that you might see all sorts in that mist. Perhaps an effing cow will jump over an effing moon.

Manfred, a German in the opposing line, glimpses Joey.

Manfred Achtung! Schnell!

Ludwig Was ist los?

Manfred Ein Pferd!

Ludwig Ein was?

Joey is clearly visible.

Manfred Ein Pferd!

Geordie There! I told you – there is a horse!

Sergeant Thunder Well, eff me. How the eff did that get there?

A few beats, then both sides begin to call to Joey.

He’s swayed one way, whereupon the ‘losing’ side redoubles its efforts. He goes towards them and the same happens. Both sides very much want him to come to them.

Geordie Listen to the lads, Sarge. They want him. And look, there’s a white flag.

Manfred is waving it, and tentatively climbing out of his position.

Sergeant Thunder Hold your fire!

Geordie (fashioning a white flag) Jerry’s going for him!

Sergeant Thunder Are you sure about this, Geordie?

Geordie We can’t just let the effing Jerries effing have him.

Sergeant Thunder Too effing right, Geordie.

Geordie climbs out, too.

Ludwig Nicht stiessen! [Don’t shoot!]

Sergeant Thunder Hold fire, but be prepared!

Joey shows a bit more interest now that two men are approaching.

Manfred (with noises) Kam, her.

Men from both trenches call to Joey.

Geordie Hey, bonny lad!

Manfred Her, hierher.

Geordie Eh, Dobbin – you’re going the wrong way, see.

Manfred and Geordie arrive at him. They study each other for a few moments. It’s tense.

Manfred Horse?