Stewart Chaaaarrgge!

Troopers Chaaarrrghhhh!

For a few moments horses gallop freely, then the enemy guns start up. The men use their battle cries to whip themselves into a frenzy.

Incoming shells and machine-gun fire create havoc. Horses rear. Men scream.

The ground erupts, throwing horses and men into the air.

Joey and Topthorn keep going.

Ned Our vather which art in Heaven! Hallowed be thy name! Thy kingdom co–

Horses begin to run into the barbed wire. They scream. They become stuck.

Stewart Keep goiiiiing! Attack! There are gaps in the wire! Fritz is there! Fritz is there! Attack through the gaps in the wire! Attaaaaaaaack!

Obeying, Joey and Topthorn leap out of sight.

Interval.

SIXTEEN

Quayside, Calais. Beginning of March 1915.

Enter infantry privates, including David. Enter Albert, in Yeomanry uniform.

Enter Sergeant Thunder.

Sergeant Thunder Platoon fall in!

All the infantry obey. Albert is adrift.

Stand at ease. Bonjour, mes amis! Spring is in the air. Shame you’re not on your holidays. Biarritz is very pleasant at this time of year, I’m told. But you’re not headed there, and neither am I, more’s the pity. Oy, you! Name?

Albert Trooper Narracott, Zergeant.

Sergeant Thunder Trooper Narracott … (Finds him on the list.) Ah yes. New orders. You’re joining the infantry.

Albert Sir?

Sergeant Thunder Don’t call me sir, I’m not an effing officer – I work for a living! Hang about – how old are you?

Albert Eighteen … Sergeant.

Sergeant Thunder stares at Albert. Albert doesn’t wilt.

Sergeant Thunder More like sixteen … You’ve been effing transferred, Private Narracott who claims to be eighteffingteen, because the Yeomanry mob you were to join doesn’t exist any more.

Albert Don’t exist?

Sergeant Thunder Correct, so you’re now to be a private in the infantry.

Albert What about the ’orses? My ’orse is with that Yeomanry, ee’s called Joey, this is his picture –

Sergeant Thunder You have a picture of your horse? Why didn’t you say? Ah yes, a simple sketch but unmistakably – what did you say his name was?

Albert Joey.

Sergeant Thunder … I don’t know where your effing Joey is! Do I look like I know the latest on every effing ’orse in the war? Do I look like an effing equine expert or even an effing equestrian enthusiast? Your mob no longer exists. Any survivors will have been absorbed into –

Albert So there were survivors –

Sergeant Thunder Silence, Private! … Are you silent, now?

Albert Sergeant!

Sergeant Thunder You just spoke!

Albert Sergeant!

Sergeant Thunder You just spoke again!

Albert bites his tongue. David’s caught smiling.

You! Get here now! And what’s your name?

David Private Taylor, Sergeant.

Sergeant Thunder This one seems to think he’s on a mission for the Dumb Animals’ League, he thinks he’s here to nose for his nag, but you know what we’re here for, don’t you, Private Taylor?

David To win the war, Sergeant.

Sergeant Thunder That’s right, you’ve come to France to kill Germans. Either of you speak French? … I’ll learn you some. Repeat after me: je suis un bloody sod, je suis un bloody bastard.