Ned What d’ye think – eighteen-pounders?

He extends his arms and watches them shake.

The chatter of a machine gun makes Ned duck to the ground, sheltering under Joey.

Joey just lets Ned be.

Ned stays as long as he needs to recover.

Ned resumes grooming, less shakily.

… You could mow a field of hay with one of those machine guns … All the stalks of hay in a field, flat. Rat-a-tat-a-tat flat … (He seems to get stuck for a few moments, only able to rock.) D’ye think this landscape once looked like home? … I wish I hadn’t thought of home. Blighty … Blighty Blighty. Blighty Blighty Blighty. Zee this (his knife)? Cut your hand off – cut your foot off – cut an eye out, go home … Anything to put in a parcel for home? Me.

Ned sinks to the ground.

A battle erupts overhead, but he doesn’t react.

Joey and Topthorn move in and shelter Ned.

FOURTEEN

Farm, Devon. Christmas Day, 1914.

Enter Ted, pushing a secondhand bicycle with a ribbon tied to it.

Enter Rose, leading Albert, hands over eyes.

Rose You can look, now. Happy Christmas, Albert.

Albert (to Rose) … A bicycle. Thanks.

Rose Vather fixed it up.

Albert (to Rose) It’s grand. No, really, it is. I’ll ride it.

Rose That’s the general idea … I know the Christmas present I’d like – you two to break your silence.

Beats.

Albert (to Ted) … You didn’t spend any of Joey’s money on this, did you –?

Ted There’s no such thing as ‘Joey’s money’, it’s all one pot –

Albert He’ll be back soon, you know, the war must be about over –

Ted If he doesn’t kick someone –

Albert He must have had a reason ta kick ya –

Rose Stop! I’d rather have the silence than that bickering.

Enter Arthur, with a parcel.

Oh …

Arthur Yes, um, I was in the post office, in the village, last night, just as it was closing, and while I was there, it happened that there was a parcel for Albert, from the, from the, from over there, and I thought, I could go up that way in the morning, so I offered, and it might not get there otherwise, so I asked if I could, and here it is.

Rose Happy Christmas, Arthur.

Arthur Oh, um. Happy Christmas.

Albert Who’s sending me a parcel from over there?

Rose Open it and see.

As Albert does so:

Heard from Ned?

Arthur Yes. Um, not for a while … There’s been one or two notifications received yesterday. Telegrams, informing, you know … on Christmas Eve – terrible.

Ted Papers zay it’s going according to plan –

Arthur I’m not zaying it’s not. I’m right behind our boys.

Ted We shall prevail.

Rose (aimed at Ted) You’ve fought in a war, haven’t you, Arthur?

Arthur In my day they didn’t have these machine guns we’ve been hearing about.

Albert Oh …

Rose What is it?