This is the opposite of steering things away from work. This is making work a priority. This is literally going into more detail about it. What if she figures it out? What if she already has? What if she’s just messing with me, dragging me along? What if this is a setup?

whatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatif

PEAK: Funnnnn. Hope your coworkers were nice.

ME: They were exceptional.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

WHAT IS THE ACTUAL MATTER WITH ME?

PEAK: Exceptional, eh? Should I be jealous?

ME: I can’t even begin to tell you how not jealous you should be.

Wait . . . Jealous?

PEAK: Can’t go having some hot coworker stealing away my bat in shining armor.

ME: I don’t have armor.

PEAK: Semantics. Bat in skinny jeans then. Same difference.

ME: The difference between jeans and armor is far greater than semantics. I don’t even know where to begin.

PEAK: Nice subject change.

ME: . . . ?

PEAK: Listen, you’ve been texting me nonstop for two weeks, and now radio silence. There’s definitely a hottie.

Should I tell her? Oh god, I should. I should tell her everything, come completely clean. This is too stressful. I’m sure my dad will get over it, right? I mean, probably? Never mind.

ME: Would you really care?

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

Am I really asking her if she’s jealous of herself? What is the matter with me? Seriously. WHAT. IS. THE. MATTER. WITH. ME?

PEAK: Nope.

Annnnnd ouch. Well, okay, then.

PEAK: I mean, I would have. But then maybe I met someone too. Turnabout being fair play and all.

My stomach sinks to my toes. Fuck him, whoever he is. They probably met at the thrift shop after she left yesterday. He was probably donating all his very nice clothing while combing the racks for “authentic pieces.” He probably has a nice house and a family that loves him. He probably is handsome and well-adjusted and plays sports and has hipster glasses or something. His laundry is probably always clean and good smelling. He probably has more clothes than he can handle because his mother didn’t promise to ship them to him and then forget, and I bet his teeth sparkle in the sunlight. He probably doesn’t even know how great his life is. He’s probably the exact opposite of me in every way. She’s probably already in love. She’s probably never going to text me again after this. This is probably her way of cutting things off, since she seems too nice to ghost someone.

And I know I have to respond, that it’s weird that I haven’t, but the words keeping dying in my fingers.

ME: I don’t know what to say here.

PEAK: Really? That’s it?

ME: I hope you guys are happy? I don’t know. What am I supposed to do with that? Good for you. Have fun. Etc. Etc. Etc.