‘What does Lucien know?’ Barky snapped. ‘He wasn’t born here, was he? When they tell him “Go back to where you came from” it means something. Where would you go? Where would I?’

‘There’s no need to get nasty. I was only trying to help.’

‘I’m not Black. Why should I be? My mother was white, my father half-white. You were taught to figure, Zillah. That makes me more white than Black. Who’s to tell me otherwise?’

I got the sense of his argument. There was a logic to it, but there were many who’d disagree with him. One drop of Black blood was enough; he knew it as well as I did.

‘It doesn’t work like that,’ I said.

‘But why?’ His voice was plaintive.

‘You carry on like people are cake – half this, half that. But it’s more like a gin fizz. Once the measure goes in you can’t separate them.’

It felt too simple, talking of something so important as this in terms of food and drink, but I was only just coming to terms with it all myself.

‘How can you say that when you play Amazonia? When you switch it on and off?’ Barky said.

There was a time when I’d thought I could leave Amazonia behind, but the truth was colour couldn’t be discarded. I hadn’t realised it, was all.

‘Don’t tell me you wouldn’t pass if you could,’ Barky said.

Would I? It’s not like I’d never thought of it. The things I could do came at me in a rush. The roles I could play, the places I could go. The lives I could live. Barky spoke like he could see inside my head, his voice low and persuasive.

‘We could steam your hair, take out the curl. Powder you up, trowel it on thick. What do you say to that, Zillah?’

I could almost see it. An easier life, yes; a more successful one, most probably. But then came the stubborn voice. ‘It wouldn’t be me.’

The words sat between us for a moment, until Barky murmured, ‘You can be anyone you want to.’

Was he telling me or himself?

‘Barky, you’re living a lie.’

‘Don’t you worry, my girl. I’m doubly used to that.’ There was such bitterness in his voice. If it was to do with his mistress, I wondered why he couldn’t at least tell me if he wanted to talk about her. But he carried on before I could ask. ‘You’re in no position to judge me. Even you didn’t suspect.’