I carried on until I reached the Strand. I still didn’t know what Crillick had in store but I felt reassured by what Barky had said. Not only about my act, but Vincent too. If he was right about that, wasn’t he right about Lucien, though? I almost wished now I’d told him that we’d met. I needed to talk it over with someone. Not Ellen – she was too close to Crillick. It would get back to Vincent in a heartbeat. Not that I’d really done anything. I’d been to a grocery shop. What could be more natural? But I was lying to myself that there was nothing more to it. He’d managed to get me talking about my mother. I never did that. I gave myself over to the memory that had been lapping on the edge of my thoughts, the memory of the day we’d left for St Giles.

I’d had to skip to keep up with her back then, my seven-year-old legs struggling to match her pace so she half-dragged me along. She’d kept looking over her shoulder, but once we’d got to Endell Street, she was calmer and finally willing to answer my questions.

‘We’re going to a place called St Giles, Zillah. To see Mama’s old friend Mrs Bradley.’

She’d packed up all my things into a little cloth bag.

‘Are we going to stay with her now?’

The cramped streets of St Giles had been frightening after the wide tree-lined avenues of St James’s. I’d pressed close to her as we walked along.

‘Mrs Bradley used to live with us, but she left when she had her son, Eustace. He’s only a year older than you. You’ll be able to play together.’

Oh, Eustace. Thinking about my mother had led to thinking about him. Maybe I’d been fooling myself that I was ready to move on, even though it had been four years since his death. Better to leave it all in the past where it belonged. I was almost at Northumberland Avenue. Hopefully Vincent would be there and I could forget about everything else.

XI

Party Preparations

When I arrived at 25 Northumberland Avenue, I found the back door to Crillick’s house wide open. A horse and cart had pulled up outside and I watched as its driver struggled in, bowed by the weight of two heavy boxes. I walked over to the cart, wanting to lift the sacking that covered it and see what else he had inside, but as I reached out a hand I heard a shout.

‘Clear off, girl, or I’ll call the Peelers on you!’