‘Well, don’t bother. I don’t need it.’

Ellen stalked away. It seemed like we were at odds again and Crillick had only been back a day. She was annoyed with him and taking it out on me. It was definitely just as well I’d said nothing about Richmond. She would’ve been fuming.

I sighed to think of myself back at St Giles, but in just a few moments Crillick had forced me to remember why it was I couldn’t live with him. Better the dirt and grime of the Rookery than having him letch on me. There was nothing I could do about it when I was at work, but I didn’t have to put up with it outside of that. I’d need to invent a good excuse for Vincent – he wouldn’t want me to go – but if I stayed Crillick might come between us and I wasn’t having that, not when he’d already driven a wedge between me and Ellen.

VII

A Handbill for the Black Poor

It was still light when I left Crillick’s so I wrapped a scarf around my hair as I hit the Strand and kept my head down until the theatre was a good five hundred yards behind me. I barrelled along, only half-hearing the muttered curse of a costermonger as I brushed past him, but I couldn’t outrun the feelings that swirled around my head. I always looked forward to my day off on a Thursday but being called in for the extra rehearsal had spoilt it. It was Crillick that had unsettled me. The props he had bought and his eagerness to see Amazonia had made me feel unclean. I knew Ellen had seen the way he looked at me. How could she stand it? She wasn’t the only one, though. Vincent overlooked his friend’s bad behaviour too. But Crillick hasn’t changed, came the voice in my head. True, he’d always made my skin creep. If I was honest with myself, he wasn’t the only thing that had thrown me off, so what was it? Lucien Winters. I’d ripped up his card but he was still in my thoughts.

Until Lucien had questioned me, I’d been able to ignore the slight discomfort I’d been feeling when I performed, but with the return of Crillick and his wretched props, my unease had crystallised. I’d worked hard for this and now it was tainted. I needed to keep my focus. I was earning enough to make my own way. When I had as much money as Lucien, maybe I’d be able to afford to think on these things more deeply.

‘Excuse me, miss. Excuse me.’

The voice sounded officious and my stomach flipped. Keep going, Zillah. He might not have meant you.

‘Miss, I’d like to talk to you.’