Fortitude and I see Barky at least once a week. He left the theatre game a few years ago and now runs a school teaching actors and actresses their craft. There’s a job for me there if I want it, but I much prefer working with Elvira. It’s by far the thing I’m best at. I’m not sure I ever was much cop as an actress. There comes a time in life when you have to stop pretending.

Acknowledgements

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has supported and encouraged me with the writing of this novel. Firstly to my agent Juliet Mushens for believing in me, championing my work and making all my writing dreams come true and to Jenny Bent for all her help and support in the US; to my editors Emily Griffin and Millicent Bennett and their teams at Hutchinson Heinemann and Harper for all the love and care that went into making the manuscript the best it could be; to my fellow writers: Hattie Clarke, the very first person to read Zillah’s story; Julia Barrett, Madeline Dewhurst, Ian Hamilton, Eyre Kurasawa and Natasha Stokes who were there from the very beginning; to my SI Leeds shortlist sisters; to the 2022 Debut Stars Twitter group – it’s been wonderful to share the publishing experience with you over the past year; to my London Lit Lab and Jericho Writers workshop buddies; to Hajira Mahomed, Victoria and David Dillsworth, and Nikki May for help with translation; and to all those who have been part of the journey to helping me find my voice, and to becoming a better writer: Nikita Lalwani, Eley Williams, Susanna Jones, Claire Berliner, Fiona Goh, Debi Alper, Emma Darwin and all those involved with the London Library Emerging Writers Programme and the SI Leeds Literary Prize. And to my family for the tricky feat of simultaneously lifting me up and keeping me grounded: Giselle Dillsworth, and Catherine Dillsworth, the bestest mama and nana a girl could ever have and to my aunties, Mary Leeds and Thérèse Luck for being there to support and encourage and to take the strain during the most difficult of times so I could seek refuge in my writing.

The majority of this novel was written between 2020 and 2021. My final thanks go to Dr Melanie Powell, Mr Stefano Andreani and Dr Sarah Slater, to their teams and to everyone who works for our wonderful NHS, who kept those dearest to me safe and well during this time. I appreciate you.

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

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