I threw up my hands. If he was in this much of a funk there’d be no getting through to him. I might as well go to bed before he killed my mood completely. I’d just have to tell him my news about the Leopard Lady in the morning. It was probably best he didn’t know too much. Just enough not to give me away beforehand. Afterwards I knew I could rely on him to help keep me safe until I left the country. I was less certain of when might be a good time to tell him that Lucien had proposed to me, but I hadn’t made up my mind yet. There was just one thing that was bothering me.

‘Why was it that Lucien suggested you tell me more about yourself?’

Barky ignored me. I asked him again, loud enough that he couldn’t fail to hear. His eyes snapped up and, in that moment, I saw it. What Lucien had seen when he questioned why Barky wouldn’t come to the pub with us.

‘You’re never …’

‘Never what, Zillah. Go on, say it.’

‘Barky, you’re Black.’

The word lingered on the air between us like I’d cursed him. It made sense now. His kindness to me, but also his concern that no one saw me come in and out. Plenty of nosy people who might put two and two together, and then where would he be? Not welcome in Lamb’s Conduit Street, that was for sure.

‘I don’t believe it. All this time …’

‘You’re not to tell, Zillah.’

‘Of course I won’t.’

I was hurt that he thought I might, but no wonder he was wary. I thought of the theatre, of Aldous and Ellen and their faces if they found out he was coloured.

‘Does Crillick know?’

‘No. Not Crillick, not Woodward, none of them.’

‘But Lucien knew.’

‘Appears so,’ Barky said. His voice was bitter. No wonder he hated Lucien.

‘He wouldn’t say, Barky. He didn’t tell me.’

‘But we’re talking about it now.’

There was nothing I could say to that. Barky’s hair cut convict short. That made sense now. He couldn’t dare let it grow. It might not be woolly like Lucien’s but it could be curly like mine. His eyes, the brown so deep; the way he caught the sun. Was that why he was never in his shirtsleeves?

I looked up and he was staring at me. He knew what I was thinking and it made me sad. Sad that he felt he had to hide. I’d felt like that about my mother’s servitude, but Lucien was making me see that I had nothing to feel ashamed of. Maybe he could do that for Barky too.

‘Lucien says—’ I began.