The lights came up and I was back on the Crillick’s stage. I stood breathing heavily as the crowd cheered and stamped their feet. My eyes darted to row C but the place where the African had sat was empty. Was that him making his way up the aisle?

‘Come back,’ I called, but the words wouldn’t form. All that came out was the plaintive whine of an animal.

‘Zillah, you’re unwell. Lean on me.’

It was my handmaiden. No, Ellen, her whisper urgent.

‘He left,’ I said.

It wasn’t unusual for a performance to leave me feeling strange. But tonight, it was more than this. I felt hollowed out. I sagged into her arms and, when the curtain closed for the interval, she half-pulled, half-dragged me from the stage.

I opened my eyes to Ellen’s troubled face.

‘You’re back, then,’ she said and I felt her drop my hand, which she’d been holding. I raised my head slowly and paused while the room righted itself. I was propped up on the wooden chair in our dressing room, chilled and shivering despite the thick woollen blanket on my knees. I couldn’t remember how I got there.

‘Take this.’

I shook my head but Ellen was firm and I ate the stale biscuit she offered, the crumbs gritty in my dry mouth. Barky entered with a cup of small beer and I drank it down gratefully.

‘A bravura performance, Amazonia.’

‘Don’t call me that.’

‘You actresses are always so precious.’

Barky rolled his eyes. He may have been joking but nonetheless I wanted to shake him. He thought I was being a prima donna, but it wasn’t that at all. I threw myself into my performances but since I started headlining it had felt more and more important to make sure the gap between me and my act was clear. I wanted to explain it, but my mouth felt cottony and I couldn’t find the words. ‘No need to talk. You did very well tonight,’ Barky said.

He smiled at me but I saw him glance at Ellen, one eyebrow raised, questioning why I wasn’t quite myself.

‘I’ll call Lord Woodward,’ he said.

‘He’s been sending the carriage for her,’ Ellen said, not troubling to hide the note of resentment in her voice.

‘I want her accompanied when she leaves tonight,’ Barky said.

Vincent, coming to collect me? The thought of him now cut through the fog in my mind but my limbs still felt floppy and loose. I couldn’t let him see me like this.

‘Help her, Ellen,’ Barky said. ‘Get her cleaned up.’