‘Let’s go, then,’ Barky said to her. He turned to me. ‘Zillah, I’ll be back at the interval in half an hour. You’ve got until then to sort yourself out.’

I was glad they were gone. Was I being a prima donna? No, he knew me better than that. Come on, Zillah. Get it over with. My eye fell on the box where the make-up was. There was a blue glass vial in there. It was Ellen’s. A ‘livener’, she said it was. I’d seen her use it when she came in tired from a previous night. Must be laudanum or similar. I usually stayed away from stuff like that, as St Giles was littered with opium eaters. I’d seen the state of them: skin all scabby, clothes patched and torn. The lengths they would stoop to for their next hit were disturbing, even in a place as depraved as St Giles. But if it helped me get through tonight, surely it was worth it? There was no way I could be Amazonia, not tonight, without something to take the edge off.

I looked over to the door; it was pulled to. Just as well, as I didn’t want Barky to see me and I couldn’t imagine Ellen would be too pleased, either, with me sneaking her stuff. But if she’d wanted to keep it to herself, she should have hidden it in her bag. I poured a cup of water from the jug on the dressing table and tapped the vial over it. A brownish powder floated on to the surface of the water and I stuck in my finger to swirl it around. It would be bitter, but I had no sugar available. I glugged it down in one, surprised that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Definitely not laudanum, then. Either way, I hoped it would kick in quickly.

I’d rarely seen Barky angry. Now he was furious. I tried to school my face into seriousness but I couldn’t help but giggle. He’d said he’d be back at the interval. How could that time have passed so swiftly? Ellen came in full of excitement after her performance, but when she saw me she pulled up short. Barky turned to her accusingly.

‘Did you give her something, girl? I’ve told you before, I don’t want none of that in my theatre.’

Two spots of colour appeared high in Ellen’s cheeks. I thought she was embarrassed, but no, she was angry.

‘Not your theatre, though, is it,’ she spat.

‘It is as far as you’re concerned,’ he said and she backed down, went sulky.

‘She’s not had nothing off me. Not unless she stole it.’

She rummaged around in the box and found the blue glass vial.

‘Did you take this, Zillah?’

I wanted to tell her yes, but all that came out was helpless laughter.