‘Azzy, A know A took ages. That’s us anyway!’

‘Naw, it’s no that, ya dick!’

He gees me a vacant look. ‘Don’t fuckin leave that lyin in ma motor again!’ A hand him his lock-back. ‘You’ll git me busted, ya jailbait bastard.’

‘Right sorry, fuck sake, man!’

‘Calm doon, ya para-wreck!’ Wee Kenzie says fae the back.

‘Wrap it, baw-jaws. You kin hod his fuckin knife fur him if yi want, cos A’m no gawn tae Polmont fur it.’

Kenzie’s spotted suhin. ‘Owa, look who our big pal is wae.’

The three ae us sit in the dark ae the motor n stare across at them. McIntire walks oot wae two familiar faces – McVeigh n Allen fae the Toi. We sit n watch as McIntire hands them the pots, a bag ae soil oot the boot n a can-fan. The two Toi wans wave cheerio n head back intae the flat. The Scooby comes tae life, purrs n disappears. Ma two pals ir starin at us as A finish ma joint n flick it oot the windae. A kin see their simple minds work through their thick skulls. ‘Don’t even fuckin think aboot it!’

‘How no?’ Danny replies wae a wee smile.

‘Cos the McIntires wull fuckin kill yees.’

‘They’ll no know who it is. Fuck, in wan swoop we could rob them, set the Toi wans up n end up wae a full factory ae plants as a bonus!’

‘Danny, they’re just the wee dicks runnin the set-up. It’s Marcus’s fuckin stuff!’

‘No way! They’re comin oot!’ Kenzie says.

Allen n McVeigh lock the door n boost doon the street wae their hoods up.

‘See, Azzy, everyhin left in the hoose! Empty!’ Danny says.

‘Well fuckin hell mend yees if yi git caught. Yees know wit wull happen if yees dae!’

‘How, wit’s gonnae happen like?’

‘Two ae yees ir gonnae git stabbed or yir legs broke!’

‘Aye, aye. The McIntires irnae that mad noo. Loads ae young cunts ir comin up n they’re struggling. Plus, they’re fightin wae the Maynards the noo. Even the McLeans ir startin tae shift weights noo. The first cunts they’ll blame ir wan ae them!’ Danny says, pure gallus.

‘When yees dain this great robbery then?’

‘Right noo if yees want?’ Danny says, laughin.

‘Aye right! Yir no bringin aw that fuckin green intae this motor.’

‘Azzy, you’re turnin in tae wan pussy bastard!’ Wee Kenzie says fae the back. Any other time A wid huv said suhin. A just laugh.

‘Naw, yooz ir confusin yirsel wae gangsters! Yees ir a pair ae wee daft runners gittin too far ahead ae yirsels.’

‘Sound then, you’ll be gutted when me n Kenzie ir fuckin rollin in it. Green tae smoke fur months, hundreds ae quid. Shoppin sprees at the Fort. Wit’s Azzy dain? Tappin a score aff his maw fur fags n skins. Pic-ture-me-rollin.’

Kenzie’s noo convinced beyond aw reasonable doubt n is lookin at me. A’m forced tae laugh. The two ae them ir smilin at me n A’m still shakin ma heed. ‘Fuckin hell, A cannae believe A’m actually thinkin aboot this shite! Yees ir fuckin crackers.’