Wan ae them wid take the new bit on Friday n start sellin that. The other wan wid keep the rest ae the original stuff n try tae sell they bits. If they kin sell ninety pills, they’re aff scot-free and in healthy profit tae sell the rest in their own time – while takin their usual order next week n sellin that simultaneously. If yi wur smart, yi saved up a few weeks n bought bits cash n sold them at yir own pace. Problem is, when cunts find oot that there’s nae mental third-party tae potentially enforce any hunt fur the debt, yir much more likely tae git bumped. Then yi need tae sort cunts oot, which is drama. If yi sold anyhin on tick yi wid always huv tae chase somecunt n smash cunts who bumped yi. Yi wid huv tae contend wae that, cunts wantin tae set yi up n steal yir stuff n the polis anaw. That’s the way drug dealin works. Simple? Aye, in theory.

A’m sittin starin at the pills again. Danny n Kenzie ir arguin aboot whose fault the present situation is. Ma eyes ir driftin across aw the pills lyin. It wisnae uncommon tae take at least ten ae these things. In the last fifteen years, the levels ae MDMA in them hud dropped dramatically. These ecstasy tablets ir the size ae a drawin pin heed, off-white wae shark stamps on them.

‘Ya fuckin dafty! A told yi just tae git the fuckin dope!’ Kenzie whines.

‘Did yi fuck! You wur the wan noddin yir heed when McIntire asked yi.’

‘A wis shakin ma heed, no noddin it.’

‘Yi wur noddin like the Churchill dug, ya cunt!’ A shout.

‘Fuck up, Azzy. It doesnae matter noo! We’re nearly two hunner short fur him!’

The two ae them turn tae me. A’m smokin a joint in the corner, mindin ma own business. ‘Wit you sayin, Azzy?’ Danny says.

A turn n raise ma eyebrows through a thick cloud ae grass smoke. ‘A’m no a fuckin drug dealer. A take the hings, A don’t sell them.’

‘Aye, we know that, Alan. But dae yi know anycunt that wid be interested in eckies or a bit ae fuckin dope tae help yir mates oot, wee sacks?’

‘Yi know everycunt is lookin fur green noo. The dope’s gittin hard tae shift n fuck knows aboot the pills. Yees shouldnae ae took that many, fuck sake!’

‘Aw great fuckin help you ir!’ Kenzie shouts.

‘A’ll try aw the young wans. Ask them if they want fifteen quid quarters n a good deal on pills.’ The two ae them look as if A’ve slapped their faces. ‘That’s fuckin business, boys. If yi want cash in a flash then yi need tae gee cunts a deal! Even A know that, fuck sake.’

‘Fuck sake, sir. That’s our profit yir handin oot, Azzy. It’s a business, no a charity.’

Five minutes n a few calls n A’ve made them back seventy quid. They bang bits oot underweight, chase cunts early fur tick n then they wonder how they cannae git rid ae stuff when it comes tae Friday n they’re desperado fur any coin tae make up their debt. World’s worst fuckin dealers. A understand it n how tae deal wae cunts, but A cannae reconcile the grief wae the potential small profit yi might or might no make. The logistical heed-fuck on a Friday makes fur grim watchin.