Even when yi try n pure concentrate some banger shouts suhin daft n makes yi laugh or yi drift intae the ether n start clock watchin n glancin doon at yir mobile under the desk. Ma heed just starts buzzin aboot wae Monica n how healthy she is n how much A like hur … n stuff we could be up tae. Then A’m thinkin aboot the troops n the YT or A’m oot in the corridor again fur talkin or disruptive behaviour.

Ma teacher is aboot fifty. She’s an elder woman wae scraggy hair n thick specs, Mrs McLaughlin. She has on a black cardie n a light blue blouse wae a long black skirt n heels. She’s rattlin the eld black board wae a bit ae chalk. ‘Miss, A thought yi couldnae mention Macbeth. Is that no bad luck or suhin?’ A ask hur, rememberin suhin A’d heard years ago.

‘Impressive, Alan. Some thespians won’t utter the name of the play in the theatre in fear of bad luck!’

‘Wit’s a thespian?’

‘Azzy called the teacher a lesbian!’

Laughs aw around. McLaughlin looks ragin. ‘Enough, Mr Addison! Enough of that language this instant!’

‘Sorry, Miss, A didnae hear yi right! Wit is a thespian then?’

‘It’s an actor, Paul, a theatrical actor. Now, back to Macbeth. Mr Williams was correct. There is a very real superstition about pronouncing the protagonist’s name in the theatre where the production is being performed …’

‘Miss, wit’s a protractoragonist?’ a lassie shouts fae the back.

‘It’s a lead character, Julie. The play is referred to as the “Scottish Play”, and in rehearsals they will call the protagonist the “Scottish Lord” or the “Scottish King” in fear of repeating his name. They even say in productions where this hasn’t been followed there have been reports of bad luck and even deaths. If you believe in that kind of thing! Can anyone give any reasons why they think this may be the case?’

‘Cos Shakespeare is heavy gay!’

An eruption ae laughter.

‘No, Alison. The Bard’s sexual orientation isn’t relevant here. Anyone else?’

‘It’s actually because of the witches,’ a wee smart cunt doon the front says.

‘Very good, Jonathan. Please go on.’

Addison catches ma eye n we git a wee chuckle. Aw the cool cunts sit swingin on their chairs at the back ae the room. Aw the mad geeks sit at the front wae their heads doon answerin questions n tryin no tae git in trouble. We just try tae git a laugh n no git a referral. A’m only on a doggers card the noo so A didnae huv the eld A, B or C rating system. A hud, historically, hud a wee extra note, behaviour-related, written even on the doggers card which only asked fur a signature tae confirm yir attendance.

‘It’s because the original dialogue was thought to have been real spells and mentioning witchcraft was seen as a bad omen.’

Someone is makin pigeon noises wae cupped hands n a paper aeroplane comes flyin overheed like Concorde. School aboot here is a constant circus.