We aw laugh.

‘Wit’s this “no surrender” patter, ya wee fuckin Orange bastard?’ Big Kenzie says wae a grin n rubs Broonie’s wee baldy heed.

The polis huv been up the village hopin tae catch us oot n aboot. We aw sneak oot ae the woods wae our hoods up n keep our heeds doon. The troops huv assembled doon the bottom park n ir aw waitin fur us. It’s after lunchtime n there’s nae doubt that at least me, Broonie n Addison ir caught. Ma maw hud been textin rapid n Addison’s maw hud been phonin him aw day. He’s turned aff his mobile tae avoid it. Ma maw’s still textin me but A’m just patchin it. If A reply she’ll open the floodgates. Fuck it, if yir goin oot, then yi go oot in style. We hud been bold aw the way n there’s nae point stoppin noo.

We’re walkin doon the back way. There’s only a granny walkin wae a wean in a pram n a taxi pickin another eld woman up. Everybody else hus dogged it or git oot their beds tae come n see us. A’m hopin fur a quiet afternoon after the drama, a few joints tae take the edge aff. Chill us aw oot n git a wee laugh before takin the roastin that’s comin the night n the next day. Yi irnae even allowed back on school property before yir readmitted formally. We’re suspended fur sure. Danny’s mate fae their school hud text anaw.

Donaldsons been in lookin fur yi mate.

Everywans talkin aboot eh scrappin up eh proddy school

It’s official. Danny, Finnegan n Wee Kenzie ir fucked, same as us. Our head teacher, Mr McGiver, is quite friendly wae their headmistress, Ms Donaldson. Yi wid see hur marchin aboot our school the odd time. She hus that look tae hur, quick-freeze hell material. McGiver is a big scary bastard, ex-rugby coach. Yi hud tae be brave tae take the big man on. He taught geography as a young man A git telt. His face is like a terrain map ae varicose veins fae the smokin n shoutin at wee boys fur a livin. He knows a thing or two aboot volcanoes n often re-enacts an eruption in his office as you stand like a wee malaria mosquito ready tae git squished under his massive mountain-building paws. Both Kenzie brothers hud endured the wrath ae Donaldson before. She’s a tight-mouthed bitch wae black poker-straight hair, even though she’s in her fifties. Both ae them ir formidable enemies but A wid stick wae the mighty lion any day as opposed tae the arctic fox. That’s wit we huv in store fur us the-morra. They wid be on the war path themselves. Donaldson playin Miss Marple n the big man playin Columbo.