‘Naw, yours fucked off, didn’t she? N just as well if this is how you’re plannin tae conduct yourself.’

‘Aw calm it, Janet. A’ve no drank properly fur ages.’

‘Why are yi sittin on yir own guzzlin Tonic anyway?’

‘A’m no, fuck. A took two drinks oot ma bottle while A’m gittin ready tae go oot. Drinkin Tonic wine n feeliiin fiiine!’

‘Aw n where are yi fit fur going? No out that door A hope, cos yi fucking stink.’

‘Look, yir ma big cuz n A love yi, but if yir just here tae fuckin moan yi kin git oot!’

‘Wit’s happened tae yi?’

‘Wit dae yi mean?’

‘Is this the transformation complete? Between somebody away fae here n movin on n back tae their fate? Cos no kiddin, it’s like Jekyll n fuckin Hyde.’

‘Aw calm doon!’

‘Don’t be stupid! You’re so close, cuz. So close tae actually realising this place is dead. Come on, Alan. You know it, pal.’

Ma bravado eases fur a moment. Stacey is like a sister n a best mate, aw rolled intae wan. Wan ae the cool burds fae Big Kenzie’s lost generation. She wis always wan ae ma best pals really. Always there tae pick up the pieces when it aw went wrong. A owed hur that respect. ‘So, tell me in your infinite wisdom, wit is a guy tae dae?’

Stacey glances doon towards a holdall, which ma maw’s been surreptitiously fillin wae ma washed n ironed clothes. There’s a suitcase being filled in the front room anaw, where aw ma T-shirts n socks keep disappearin intae. This is her gentle nudge oot the door. She wid gee me some candy n that wid be me. Bon voyage, motherfuckers.

‘See that bag sittin on the floor?’

‘Aye.’

‘Pack it n beat it. How’s that fur infinite wisdom? No that complicated, is it?’

‘N go where?’

‘Yi know where. Yi either go n get your woman in Paris – who’s missing you like mad, by the way – or yi go it alone, somewhere else long-term. Anywhere yi like, son! Take yir pick. It’s a big world oot there.’

‘Aye! A’m hearin yi.’

‘So which is it?’

‘A dunno yit, fuck sake! It’s a big decision.’

‘Well yir no gettin any younger sittin there bumpin yir gums, rubber on the wine!’

A smile at Stacey n shake ma heed.

‘Get it sorted, pal.’

‘A wull, A wull.’

‘Use your head, son. A needty go. Just remember before yi head out that door tonight, what happens tae you, happens tae your mum n me as well. We’re the family that care aboot yi. It’s us three against the world.’

‘A know yees dae. A dae anaw.’

‘Well don’t break your maw’s heart n come back in a box. Or put someone else’s boy in one. Cos either of those options n that’s Angela finished. Yi hear me?’

‘Loud n fuckin clear.’

‘A hope so, Azzy Williams. Yir my wee cuz n A love yi.’