The eld ScotRail carriages huvnae changed. The patterned seats ir still there n there’s orange n beige confetti coverin the floor, where the school weans huv ripped their tickets tae shreads n flung them in the air. Monica is wearin a purple pleated skirt n a cream collared shirt, wae a couple ae gold rope chains hangin doon, black suede ankle boots. A noticed hur noticin ma own white Oxford shirt, navy skinny-fit trousers n dark broon Chelsea boots. She’s no really seen me dress elder n looked impressed when a turned up, suited n booted. We’re goin tae a vegan place, the Flying Duck, roon fae Buchanan Bus Station. A hud three bottles ae Miller before A came oot, just tae git the juices flowin. Hur pals ir awready there. We bounce aff at Queen Street n head up the red-tiled stairs.

We reach the Flying Duck. The entrance looks like an eld close, wae mentions n graffiti aw over the walls. Monica waves over tae a group sittin in a wee alcove. There’s five ae them, two lassies n three guys. The lassies ir wee trendy chicks n the guys ir pure classic uni types, Hey, guys! What’s your chat? We reach them n wan ae the lassies is shoutin over the tunes. ‘Monica, whet wheew! Who’s this dark n handsome gentleman then?’ A gee a wee smile n try no tae look like an awkward dick.

‘Alicia, this is Alan that I was telling you about!’

‘She’s always talking about you!’ the other lassie says.

That’s ma cue tae step forward. ‘Hiya,’ A say tae the lassies n direct a ‘How yi doin?’ tae the guys.

They aw seem sound n say awright. Alicia starts pointin at each ae them. ‘Alan, this is Joey, Craig n Phil n Jo.’

‘Nice to meet you, mate,’ Joey says.

‘Hi, Alan!’ Jo shoots after him.

Phil and Craig gee me a disapprovin glance, nod n continue their convo.

‘Nice tae meet yees.’

Monica sits on a stool n A go n steal wan fae a different table. There’s mostly indie tunes comin fae a DJ in the corner. Joey is a heavier boy wae an oversized black jumper on n cream chinos. He looks quite a jolly cunt, pure harmless. Craig n Phil ir skinny cunts. Phil’s git a checked shirt on n black skinny jeans. He’s git fair hair, styled up. Craig is taller n thinner again, wearin a printed T-shirt wae dress trousers n a cream cardigan, bit ae a stylish cunt. He’s git black hair n plastic tortoiseshell glasses on. The two lassies ir checkin me oot a wee bit n A’m just smiling, tryin tae be friendly n that. Monica stands up n runs hur hand across ma shoulders. ‘I’ll get them in. What you all having?’ she says.

‘Guinness!’ Joey replies, lookin aw chuffed, the jolly wee cunt. A watch hur go tae the bar. Alicia n Jo laugh.

‘You been going out long?’ Phil asks.