‘Cannae believe that, man. Finnegan’s maw n da ir fuckin awright tae.’

‘Oh aye, man. Cunts huv went right doon hill.’

‘Wit’s happnin tae everycunt, man?’

‘A’m dain better, son!’ Broonie says wae his big labrador smile.

‘A’m glad, mate. Wit yi uptay the night anyway?’

‘They’re aw comin doon tae pay their tick n git a jar in the Orange Hall before A start runnin aboot.’

‘Who’s aw oot like?’

‘Just fuckin Briggy n Gunny n aw that. They usually come a run wae me n roll the joints while A chase cunts! Backup anaw, in case any cunt starts.’

‘How they gittin on?’

‘Usual patter, cuz. There’s Wee Gunny comin up the noo!’

Wee Gunny isnae that wee anymore. He wis always wan ae the mad cunts fae the younger wans. Yi could tell who wis who, the cunts who didnae sook up tae the elder wans n hud a touch ae madness aboot them. Even Wee Toffey, their tap man, wisnae cut fae the same cloth. His wee mate Briggy comes fae a bad home where his maw n da didnae work n drank. He wis the thin-haired wean who didnae wear the best ae gear n wouldnae dae well cos his folks didnae bother. They bounced aboot oblivious tae the more sensitive promises ae life beyond here. Tragedy, but absolutely run ae the mill.

‘HAW YOU, YA WEE DICK! OVER HERE!’ Broonie shouts.

Gunny bounces up tae the motor. ‘Who’s that yir wae? That Azzy?’

‘AYE FUCK, JUMP IN!’

‘Naw A’ll no!’ the wee cunt shouts n volleys the motor door. ‘OOT YIR FUCKIN MOTOR, YA PRICK!’

A’m oot n on ma tiptoes, ready fur action. He might be mental tae other cunts, but he’s still a younger wan tae me.

‘Gittin Tam tae fight yir fuckin battles, ya big pussy. A’ll no be fuckin backin doon, ya beasty bastard!’

Broonie’s in the middle between us, tryin tae calm it doon. ‘FUCKIN CHILL OOT! Big fuckin deal if Tam whacked his wee brur!’

‘A’ll fuckin smash you, ya wee dick!’ A say wae ma heed doon n ready tae go.

‘Come ahead then, ya fuckin slopin bastard!’

‘Gunny, A’ll stand back n let Azzy smash yi if yi don’t shut it! He’ll be two minutes wae you, ya wee cunt.’

‘Fuck up, Broonie. He fuckin ditched you anaw!’

‘Naw he fuckin didnae ditch anycunt! He wis the wan fuckin bold enough tae go n smash fuck oot Matty and his fuckin cow ae a burd fur the boys n fur dain Wee Toffey! Did yir hero Wee Kenzie dae anyhin? Eh? Besides – wit’s good fur the goose, is good fur the gander. Mad slut, man, fuck them!’ Broonie’s powers ae reasonin seem tae calm Gunny doon fur a minute. He seems tae let that thought penetrate his wee angry heed n the shoulders go doon.

A wis the only wan who done anyhin. A wisnae proud ae it, but it hud tae be done.

‘So fuck, he stull sloped.’ The wee cunt is oot ae steam n grinds tae a halt. A know fur a fact Kenzie wull huv been away fillin his heed full ae nonsense. It wis typical ae Wee Kenzie tae git somecunt dafter tae fight his battles fur him. A kin hear his shite patter comin straight back oot Gunny’s mouth.