It takes a while, but we find an uninterrupted wall. Tabassum Naaz presses a palm on the wall, calls for a Between door, and grimaces as the Between extracts a magic toll from her in return. We enter the Between behind her.

I am conscious of other people having conversations behind me. Perhaps some of them even talk to me, but I can’t hear anything or anyone else at this point. What have I done?

Valentina appears beside me. She doesn’t say anything. She knows better than to ply me with empty platitudes. We both know better than to rely on false comfort.

Tabassum Naaz walks on my other side. The golden light in the Between is dim today, as if the Between has somehow sensed what has happened to its keeper. An hour passes in silence.

“I finally talked to my parents,” Tabassum Naaz says. “Threatened them with outright anarchy if they didn’t answer my questions.”

I glance at her bright face. “What questions?”

“See, my mom keeps a little red dress, the kind usually worn by babies, in her closet. For the longest time, I thought it was mine.”

“But?” Valentina says. I really don’t want to know.

“Turns out it belonged to my sister.” Tabassum Naaz turns away, not wanting us to see her face. “Did you never wonder why my family has only one granddaughter?”

“We usually don’t poke at beehives,” I tell her.

“Yeah. I didn’t get that memo. He killed my older sister and three other female cousins the day after each of them were born. Threw them in the Yamuna and let the water reclaim the magic in them. He tried to do the same with me, but as I said, the water refused to take me.” She laughs, a shrill, tearing sound. “I thought I would grapple with some kind of guilt over leading him to his destruction, but I don’t.” She breathes in. “He is a monster and he needs to die. If he survives your attempt, he won’t survive mine.”

Two and a half hours more of walking takes us to the door leading out to Lucknow. I returned to this city only once before, and that time too, I spilled blood. I look at the door for a long time. I know I need to open it, but my arms feel like they’re weighted and won’t rise.

Valentina wraps an arm around me and Daraja opens the door. They let me stay in the Between longest.

The city is no longer as it was; time, the most ruthless of them all, has scrubbed all surfaces so the city wears a new face and a new name. But no matter the cosmetic changes, the city’s song remains unchanged. I hate it.