“As you can see,” I reply, focusing all my attention on the ice cream. Okay, I lie. I’m pretending to attend to my ice cream. The truth is somewhat different. He smells good, all right?

“Did you see her?” he asks hesitantly.

I take a deep breath, quash my libido, and tell him what occurred earlier that evening. Somewhere during my narration, he moves to sit beside me. By the time I finish talking, he is practically glued to my side.

“Do you think she’ll show up?” He is afraid to hope. He is also too close. I inch away.

“We’ll find out tomorrow.”

We sit in a contemplative silence. Well, he is contemplative. I’m trying to figure out the best way to extricate myself from this situation. Being alone with him is bad for my heart.

I fidget and finally decide that sleeping is a good idea. I go to pat Taraana’s shoulder to bid him good night, but he turns at that moment. His gaze captures mine. Holds it. “I want to be strong in front of you.” His voice is a murmur in the silence that suddenly returns to us. “I want to show you all my best sides.” He sits up. Licks his lips nervously. A pulse ticks under his eyes. I feel like that deer frozen in the headlights. Any minute now I will go flying over the windshield. “I want so many things, Paheli. I want to wake up in the morning and not feel afraid I won’t last the day. I want to walk in the streets without caring about who is looking at me. I want many things, but out of them all, I most want you. However, I keep getting confronted by the limitations this world imposes upon me.” A tear, just one, escapes from his eyes and falls on my hand. He breathes in. Oh no.

“Not now, but someday in the future, if”—he swallows—“if I make it, do you think you could love me?”

I stare at him, still channeling that deer, still frozen in the headlights. He touches my cheek once. I do not explode. He leaves the room. I topple over.

Ten Degrees Past Despair

We wear different shades of red lipstick and our fiercest expressions to the meeting. Paheli’s not at all sure the girl will show, but Taraana is hopeful.

Hope looks good on him.

We arrive at the narghile café thirty minutes before the designated time and are shown into the room we reserved the day before. Despite the early hour, the café is as crowded as we expected it to be. The more humans around, the easier we can mask ourselves, which is why we chose the place we did.