I knew that before you said it.

We carry our glasses back into the living room and then down a set of stairs. Pictures of Ethan in various stages of his life are hung on the walls down the staircase.

Palmer turns to me. “Wanna sit down?” She nibbles her bottom lip. “It’s more comfortable down here. The furniture upstairs is way too stiff, and we never sit up there.”

Even if I couldn’t hear the wobble in her voice, I could see the apprehension on her face. It makes me want to hug her, to tell her everything will be all right, but I don’t reach for her because something tells me that might be what she’s worried about.

I take a seat on the end of the gray sofa. She moseys around before sitting on the opposite end.

“What happened to your friend . . . Fish?” she asks. “Wasn’t that his name?”

“Yeah. He’s in Cincinnati right now. He grew up not too far from here. He supports a lot of small businesses around southern Ohio and has his hands in all kinds of cookie jars, so to speak.”

“Oh.”

“I think he’s coming tomorrow, maybe. Just to say hello before he heads back to San Diego.”

She taps her fingertips against the glass. “Do you guys live close to each other?”

“No. Not really. We see each other at work—saw each other at work,” I say, correcting myself. “And then in the off-season, Fish usually comes back to Ohio.”

“So you have other friends there you hang out with?”

It’s a straightforward question, but it’s super awkward in my soul.

“Actually, not really.” I chuckle in surprise. “I mean, I have a group of friends that I vacation with in the off-season and might grab a dinner with during the season, but there wasn’t time for that kind of stuff late February through October.”

Her eyes go wide as she sips her drink.

“It’s one of the trade-offs you make to play pro ball,” I say, as if that should wash away her surprise.

But it doesn’t.

She takes a long drink and then sets her glass on the coffee table. “So what happens now for you? You get to just reinvent your life?” She leans back into the sofa cushions. “That actually sounds pretty amazing.”

I mirror her posture and lean back too. “I mean, I guess that’s what I’m doing. I haven’t thought about it like that.”

“It has to be a little nerve racking. You’ve done one thing your whole life, and now you have to fill your days with something else. How do you feel about it?”

How do I feel about it?