Palmer never turns away from the people she loves. She goes above and beyond for her child, for Kirk and Charlotte, for the community events like the nursing home picnics. She volunteered to be the team mom and deals with Jared in a way that’s more than I could do if I were in her situation.

I think I’m going to vomit.

The thought of asking her to deal with this alongside me is nearly unfathomable. How do I just plop this on her lap—burden her with the prospect of a life that I can’t guarantee? She doesn’t need, or deserve, more issues in her life, and here I am, considering telling her that I love her but lacing it with this complication?

Fuck.

I say goodbye to my doctor and end the call. Then I drop my chin and attempt to regain control over my emotions.

“You knew this,” I say to myself. “This is why you retired. You knew something was wrong.”

I squeeze my eyes shut.

“But what do I do now?” I ask aloud. “What is the right thing to do?”

I open my eyes. They land on the to-do list from earlier today—just a few minutes ago, really. I was full of hope then and positive about my next step in life.

With Palmer.

If she were the one who had something like this to deal with, I would still want to be with her. Without a shadow of a doubt. There’s nothing that she could say to me that would make me less interested in pursuing her than I am right now.

But does she feel the same?

She wants a husband, more kids . . . a family to love. And that’s when I realize something vital. I want to be a part of that family. It already feels like my family.

“I’ll tell her,” I say, testing the words. “I’ll tell her I have MS and see what she says. I’ll give her the choice.”

Even though the thought terrifies me, it’s the right answer.

It’s the only answer.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE PALMER

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

PALMER

I sniffle and grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.

My face is swollen. It hurts to touch anywhere near my eyes.

I cried off and on—every time I thought about Kirk’s anguish and how terrified Charlotte must be—but managed to pull myself together enough to get through the day. I don’t know when Kirk told the shop guys, but he must have. Burt came into my office to hand me a bunch of invoices and didn’t make one smart-ass comment or insult. He just looked at me with a sadness that I felt deep in my bones.

Burt agreed to gather the shop guys Monday morning for a meeting. The only way we’re going to survive this is if we work together.