I want to reach for her, to touch her, to hold her in my arms. My instinct is to protect her from the world and give her and Ethan everything good. But I won’t be able to do that.

The thought alone has me ready to puke.

Even if I stay for a while, until she has things under control, it’ll just make things worse. It’ll be even harder to end things.

Somehow. Because I’m not sure I can do this now.

She watches me with a look bordering on distress, and I know I have to just get this over with.

I take a deep breath. My lungs stutter as I fill them. I hate lying. Especially to her. Especially right now.

“I had a couple of meetings before I left California,” I say, which is at least the truth. “And, to make a long story short, some things have come up that require me to be in San Diego.” I level my gaze with hers. “Full time.”

I’ve never seen a bomb dropped, but I would imagine that this is what it looks like.

Her eyes widen, her lips part, and a look of unthinkable surprise sparks across her pretty face. The realization hits her that whatever she thought was going to come out of today is definitely not going to happen—and it definitely wasn’t this.

My fingers itch to grab her and pull her into me. I want to hold her, to kiss away the fear and the sadness and the disbelief painted on her features.

I ache with regret. Knowing I caused her pain feels like being stung by a thousand bees, but there’s no other way around it. I just pray that the irony of having to end things with her today is a blessing somehow. Maybe the other shit in her life will distract her from this.

But what is going to distract me?

Palmer’s bottom lip trembles. “What are you saying, Cole?”

“I’m saying . . .” I’m walking away, even when you need me to be your comfort and your rock. Even when I want to be both of those things. “I’m going to get a hold of Ted and see if he can take over the team. I wasn’t expecting this, and trust me, Palmer, I would do anything, anything, to make this situation different. But I can’t. You have to believe me.”

My voice cracks as I watch her struggle to not fall apart. She’s too proud to do it in front of me, and knowing that she’ll do it after I walk out is devastating.

I knew I wanted to be here in Bloomfield, to be with her, but I didn’t realize how much until now. Until I can’t.

“Palmer, I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry.”