Lucas began to type I love you but deleted it, fearing the urge to gush was the weed talking. Of course, he loved Dylan. He had said as much that very morning during the course of the brunch, which had gone even more smoothly than he had dared hope, thanks in part to Dylan doing his new thing of taking over the cooking and making an excellent job of it, crisping the bacon to perfection and finding mushrooms and tomatoes to add to the feast. Yes, both his children had admitted shyly, exchanging conspiratorial looks across his small dining room table, they had spotted Heidi’s laden ring finger. But no, they weren’t surprised, only pleased for him, and totally cool about the whole thing. Lucas had lost a little fluency in delivering assurances that Esther would always be their mother, but his drift was quickly acknowledged and the awkwardness left behind. Lucas had said how much he loved them both and they had said it right back. There had been goodbye hugs at the door, along with the concession that Dylan could remain off the revision hook until the following morning. All in all, it had been perfect, as Lucas had relished reporting to Esther before deciding to have this small, private celebration of his own.

He drew again on the reefer, more carefully now because he was in danger of scalding his lips. He wished he could capitalise on Dylan’s overnight absence by seeing Heidi, but the evening with girlfriends had been arranged long before. There would be other chances to be together now, thousands of them, Lucas reminded himself. Fiancée. He said the word softly under his breath, and then more loudly, proclaiming it to the room.

Getting Dylan over the line with the re-sits was the only hurdle on the horizon and Heidi, thankfully, was totally on board with that. The importance of academic endeavour was the last thing that needed explaining to his fiancée. And maybe his son would share that understanding too. Soon. The stub of the spliff fizzed as Lucas ran it under the tap before dropping it into the bin. Maybe Dylan would even thank him, one day. In the meantime, he would astonish him with his patience, Lucas vowed. He would not lose his rag. He would be encouraging and positive, just as he was, so effortlessly, with his actual students. It would be a new leaf for both of them.

ABROAD

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