I do get the fact that how I behaved made Moira feel uncomfortable, you know…

Lucas had grasped at Ralph’s words because, while not believing them, it was dawning on him the degree to which he was going to have to pretend – to Heidi and everyone else – that he did.

…that I got things wrong. That she has a right to her own reactions. I’m not a callous idiot. I do understand. The verdict, when it comes, may well mean some time out for me…

he had warned, in a bid to prepare the ground,

…but the mediation seemed to go well, so we shall see. Time out would at least be good for my paper of course! The most important thing to say, however, is that I am longing to see you, darling. Let me know your flight details as soon as you get back to Bonn and I shall be at the airport next Saturday. I can’t wait, Liebchen. I am thinking of you all the time.

Now, under the heading ‘Further News’, Lucas wrote quickly.

And now I have food poisoning! Must have picked up something at Ralph’s. Going to turn my phone off and try to ride it out. Will call as soon as I am better. See how all bits of me are falling off and falling apart without you. Lx.

Lucas read and reread the final sentence, wondering whether to lighten it with an exclamation mark. It sounded dramatic. It was dramatic. It was also, he realised bleakly, the truest thing he had told his fiancée in a very long while. Apart from the fact of loving her, which he hastily added as a postscript.

After he’d pressed send and closed down all his tabs, some of the sickening urgency receded. He had all night, after all, Lucas reflected grimly. And all the next day if he wanted. He went to the bathroom, drinking from the tap after he had washed his hands and then splashing water on his face. He paused to glare at himself in the basin mirror, his dark eyebrows dripping, his eyes wild, but swung hastily away as he glimpsed a reflection of his father.