Sero was uneasy the rest of the day. She and Jasmine went about their work at the Greenfields farm—mixing the feed in large tubs, replacing burned out bulbs—without discussing what had transpired during group circle that morning. Was she the only one who thought something was wrong? She kept dwelling on Justin’s accusations. Is that why there were so many ethnicities in the house? Was the very thing that had made her so comfortable here all to suit Micah’s taste—all the petite, attractive, tan-skinned women? When their work for the day was done, Sero returned to the house and headed for the front closet to retrieve her phone, craving a conversation with Izzy.

When she reached the foyer, however, she heard loud banging sounds coming from outside and glanced out one of the windows beside the front door. Micah was out there alone, swinging a pickaxe over his head at a new patch of paver stones near the unearthed pipes. She watched for a few moments; the wild, violent way he swung was disturbing. Sero grabbed her phone and ran out the back door toward the stables. She slowed to a walk when she was a comfortable distance from the house, and dialed Izzy’s number. Voice mail. She texted her mom, who was now back from India and had shared pictures of her grandparents and their flowering oleander bushes.

When she reached the stables, she stroked Buddy’s head for a few moments before entering the stall. She raked up the floor, refreshed his bucket of water and put out some fresh hay, even though the last batch was barely touched. The horse was uncharacteristically quiet, his tail hanging limply as she moved around him. “Hey, Buddy,” Sero said, picking up the body brush and turning her attention to his coat. She noticed a lump protruding above the corner of his mouth and touched it gently. “What’s wrong, huh?” Buddy remained staid, unresponsive even when she tried to lead him out of the stall for a walk. Not until she was back at the house did her phone buzz in her pocket. Surrounded by the others, she reluctantly sent Izzy to voice mail.

It was a small group for dinner that evening, as Ericka, Zoe and a few others were on their Wednesday fast. The big group dinners that Sero had loved so much didn’t happen as often at the Sanctuary anymore, and this saddened her. Micah joined them late in the dining room, but Justin did not show up. “What happened?” Sero whispered to Micah as they ate. “With Justin,” she added in response to his blank look.

“Gone,” he said, reaching for his wineglass.

“What? For good?” She felt an unsettling in the pit of her stomach.

“Yes, for good. And it really is. His choice, but good for all of us.” He looked at her with a smile and took a long sip of wine.

41 | Serotina

April 30, 2015

The next evening, after dinner, Micah called for a group circle. They sat outside, around the large firepit, each person’s face either aglow or shadowed, depending on the angle.