Mom has her Guru, and even though she doesn’t talk to him directly, he’s still her pair. She listens to his words in the car and she hung his picture in Not My Room Anymore. I didn’t know it could work that way, that someone can be your pair even without knowing you. In that case, I would have chosen the captain of the Space Rangers’ ship to be my pair. We would have had so much fun! Anyway, Mom is a lot more peaceful now that she’s paired with her Guru. She cries less and leaves the house more. She seems calmer than she’s been since I died. I wouldn’t have guessed the Guru to be her pair, but I’m glad she seems happy.

And Kiki has James. James is with her all the time, in real life and also in her head and her heart. He’s replaced the snakes that used to coil inside her. James likes playing basketball and he really loves to be outside in nature, which might be why he and Kiki make such a good pair. I think I would like James if I met him, and I hope he would like me. I would even let him win at basketball. I’m pretty sure Kiki and I would have stayed friends when I grew up, because of all those little secrets only I knew as her brother. But if she can’t be a super-awesome power duo with me anymore, I’m glad she has James.

When my family was still together, we switched up our pairs all the time. Now, everyone is in their own worlds and drifting farther apart. Kiki hasn’t introduced James to anyone, Dad keeps his girlfriends to himself, and nobody but Mom has met the Guru. It seems impossible for them to be a group of six. The closer each person gets to their pair, the less they remember our family. They each seem happy, but I know they’re each still sad about missing me. That’s the thing about pairs. Even the best ones don’t last forever.

24 | Karina

September 2014

Karina had been back home from Ecuador for only a couple of days when she made up her mind. The plan was to spend two weeks with her parents, one week at each home, before returning to campus. But James was making a trip to Santa Barbara over the weekend to clean out his apartment from his subletters, and she was going to drive down to surprise him. Even if it meant driving five hours one day and back the next, there would be one glorious night in between. Her new apartment wasn’t ready yet, but when Karina told Mom she was making a quick trip down to campus to pick up her keys and move a carload of stuff, her mother was surprisingly accommodating.

Saturday morning was bright and warm. Karina loaded up her car with boxes of clothes and books that she would keep at James’s until her own place was ready. She had convinced her father that the added expense of a private apartment was worth it, as it would afford her better studying conditions for her more intense course load this year. “But won’t you be lonely?” Dad had asked. She’d just smiled in response, because the real reason for the solo apartment was to allow her and James more privacy. Karina thrilled to the idea of them spending nights and mornings there, undisturbed. She pictured plants on the windowsill, the two of them cooking together in the kitchen, lying on the couch to study, her feet in his lap.