The following hours pass like a bad movie, I need this to end. For Tom to come home and tell me everything is okay. I check on the boys, kiss their foreheads, but even the scent of innocence does little to relax me.

Once again, I look out through the curtains onto the quiet street. Light shines from the windows opposite. Most of my neighbours work during the day, then pick up their young children from the crèche, dream about weekends. Friday night is takeaway, beer and wine night. Tom and I were once that couple. Before Tom’s job got too important for him to miss the Friday after-work sessions. It all stopped. The sofa nights. The chats, the falling up the stairs legless, laughing with one another. I didn’t really notice them coming to an end, they just seemed to fizzle out.

When we first got our own place we lived for Friday night so much, we often planned it on the Monday. What we would order in, what movie we would watch. It was so, so long ago now, and more than time has passed.

A noise interrupts my thoughts. My heart leaps. It’s coming from outside the house. Could it be the intruder coming back? Jumping out of the chair I rush to the window, the thoughts of a murderer at large filling me with fear as I pull back the curtain. A shadow moves in the dark. It’s Rena from next door. Shit, that means Amber will be home on top of me any minute. What will I tell her? I better stick with the story of the accident and the bicycle. I have no intentions of telling her about her new brother. Tom will have to be beside me when we release that monster.

Chapter Twenty-One

Amber has been crying, I can tell. Her skin is blotchy and her eyes are stinging red. My heart bleeds for her as she tries to carry on like nothing is wrong. Which is not like Amber, she usually faces things straight on with a shot gun.

‘There’s no need for you to worry, Amber.’

Taking a can of Sprite out of the fridge, Amber yawns. ‘I’m so tired, Mom.’

‘I know, sweetheart, you go to bed. I promise, nothing’s wrong.’

I’m not sure she bought the story about the accident, saying it was a bit of a big deal to drag her dad down the station especially on a Friday night when the cops should be busy dealing with drunk Dublin. I explained to her the officer on the case was only back on duty tonight and that’s why they called now. Tuts, huffs, then finally a kiss on the cheek.

‘Did you make much money?’ I ask her, trying to lighten the atmosphere as she walks out of the room.