I turn toward him, and our eyes clash, and abruptly, his hand falls away. He knows I know what he was doing. That he was thinking about it. And I can’t tell if he’s already mourning the loss of me, or if he’s thinking something else. Something that… could be.

My answer comes when his features harden again, his voice regaining the steel edge he’s known for.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

21

Mercedes

True to his word, Judge hasn’t touched me again. More weeks have passed. I don’t even know how long it’s been. How long ago was it that I even had a life of my own? In some ways, it feels like an eternity. In others, it feels like no time at all has passed.

As part of Judge’s program for keeping me at a distance, he seems to find ways to occupy my time. I still rise every morning to clean the stables, and he’s been letting me spend more time with the horses and dogs too. It seems as if slowly, he’s giving me more and more responsibility. Now, in addition to the stable duties, I’m also spending my days brushing the horses and helping with feedings, as well as walking the dogs.

I’ve been exploring the property, which is vast. Of course, one of the first things I did when I had the opportunity was to look for a way out, but it appears the entire grounds are gated. Not only that, but Judge has staff who lives on-site, and I’m fairly certain there’s a security system in place, like there is for most Sovereign Sons. I would be a fool to believe otherwise.

In one of the old stone outbuildings, I found what appears to be a door at the back, and it caught my curiosity. I was tempted to go inside to see what was there, but I haven’t worked up the courage to do it yet. Every day, I keep telling myself that I will. But something has been holding me back, and I’m not entirely certain yet what it is.

My mood has improved since Judge has allowed me more freedom to roam, and I spend my days doing physical activity. I missed it. I miss my friends and my aerial classes, and I want to ask Judge when I can see them. But that would require him grunting more than one word to me. Or even really looking at me, for that matter.

When I’m not outside, I’ve taken to wandering the house. Miriam is still always lurking around what feels like every corner, but she’s not as involved in my day-to-day life anymore, and that’s one small thing I can be grateful for. I eat my meals with Lois and the hounds. And then, in the afternoons, I sit down at the piano and play.