“That is my promise.” I close my eyes on a whisper, letting a solitary tear fall before I walk to the toilet, dump the pill into the bowl, and flush it away.

It’s a promise I refuse to break.

16

Mercedes

In the aftermath of our fight, days pass, eventually turning into weeks. During that time, Judge and I revert to what we know best. He loses himself in his work and whatever else he’s been hiding from me. At night, he sneaks into the bedroom once he thinks I’m asleep to lay on his side and leave before I wake. There have been several times when I felt him turn toward me, his hand hovering just above my arm or hip. Once, he even brushed the hair back from my face. But he hasn’t taken it further, and I suspect he may actually hold himself to it this time. It’s a gut-wrenching realization, but at the same time, I know we’re both too stubborn to give in.

He hasn’t outright told me what the rules are or why guards are hovering about the property outside, but instead uses them as his carrier pigeons, delivering grunted messages that I’m not allowed out. I’m imprisoned again for reasons he doesn’t think I need to know, and my only contact with the outside world is the phone he gave me, which I’m fairly certain is linked to his. I don’t doubt he can see everything on it, so I have to be careful what I say or do, but I know with every passing day, it’s time to seriously consider my options.

The first and most viable option is to approach my brother, but right now that’s not even possible with the current circumstances. I’ve been texting him occasionally for reports on Ivy and the baby, and he’s given me terse replies. At least, that was until last week, when he sent me a message to inform me the baby had been born healthy, and she was being well cared for. It was a happy and sad moment as I stared at the first photo of my niece from a screen. But the news wasn’t all good because when I asked, there was still no improvement with Ivy. I didn’t have to hear Santiago’s voice to feel his heartbreak. What started as a war had evolved to something else, and in my present circumstances, I can finally understand that.