He eats the space between us, and Mercedes sets her hand at my back when he and I stand nose to nose.

“You will not ruin her.”

What can I say to that? I already have. More than he can know, I think. I feel it in the burning touch of her hand, hear it in her quiet breaths at my back. I’ve seen it on her face too. In her eyes. I was her first. The damage I did goes far deeper than the eye can see.

She is thoroughly and irrevocably ruined.

I have done that.

Is it any comfort that I, too, am destroyed?

I will stand with her, but I can’t take her hand. I can’t do what he asks of me and have her hate me more than she already does. Already should, at least. But that’s the thing with Mercedes. She is so much more fragile, more tenderhearted than anyone knows.

“Judge—”

“I am sorry, Santiago. I cannot.”

He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. Like he doesn’t know me. And he knows I mean what I’m saying. I see it in the slight slumping of his shoulders. In the crease between his brows. As if my betrayal is slicing deeper still, and he doesn’t understand why.

“Marco. Take my sister to the car.”

Mercedes’s hand trembles at my back, but before Marco takes a step forward, she clears her throat and walks around me. Santiago’s eyes burn into me as I watch her walk away, head held high.

Marco follows her. I look at the closed door, the emptiness, the finality. But it’s not time for that just yet. This isn’t finished yet. And so, I turn to face my best friend. A man I love like a brother. But that’s what brothers do, isn’t it? Mine put a literal knife in my back. What I've done to Santiago is no different.

“Now I understand Vicarius,” he says quietly.

“Do not punish her, Santiago. The fault is mine. Entirely.”

“Your betrayal wounds me like nothing ever has.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and try to breathe.

“I would have welcomed the union of our families. But you choose to shame my sister and, in turn, me. Your punishment will be the severing of our friendship. And you alone are responsible for it. Know that, Judge. You chose this. And may you suffer the consequence of your weakness for the rest of your life.”

10

Judge

A gloom different from the one of the last weeks settles over the house once Mercedes is gone. The staff is quieter than before, tiptoeing around me. Santiago’s curse seeps into every aspect of my existence, snuffing out any light, any air.

And I deserve it.