“Okay, can we dig in?” Georgie’s eyes drift back to the food. “I’m starving.”

Solana and I laugh in acknowledgment, and we all fill our plates with entirely too much. I’m not even that hungry, but it all looks amazing, and I don’t want to hurt Lois’s feelings when she went to the trouble of doing this. Regardless, I’m fairly certain Georgie will eat the whole damned display himself if we let him.

We sit down and start to chatter between bites when a big glob of mayonnaise from one of the sandwiches squishes from the bread into my mouth and makes my stomach roil. Solana pauses, her macaron halfway to her lips.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, but another wave of nausea rolls over me, and I know I’m definitely not. I barely have the grace to set the plate aside without spilling the contents before I’m up on my feet and running to the nearest bathroom, where I proceed to puke my guts out.

I’m clinging to the toilet seat, my head a sweaty mess when I hear Solana’s voice behind me.

“Oh, God,” she chokes out. “The ginger tea…”

I blink up at her, too weak to deny my current reality.

“You have to swear you won’t tell anyone,” I beg. “Not even Georgie. Not yet, okay?”

Her eyes go wide, and she looks like she might be sick too. “Does Judge… I mean… are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.” I whimper as another wave of nausea steals my breath. “But I’ll need you to bring me a test this week and then take it away when you leave again.”

She looks at me uncertainly. “Shouldn’t you see a doctor?”

“I can’t.” I shake my head. “I just need some time.”

“Okay,” she whispers. “I’ll do it. I’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you.” I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on breathing. “It turns out I might need that tea after all.”

17

Judge

I am divided.

Ever since Vivien’s party and our fight, I’ve spent my days at the office only coming home to sleep and often not even that. The couch in my office is doubling as a makeshift bed.

It feels as though Mercedes and I are on repeat. Reliving the same hell over and over again. Sexually, I’ve never been as attracted to a woman as I am her. And attraction doesn’t begin to cover it. She has this strange power over me. Something I can’t seem to resist. And the things I do when I’m with her or near her—it’s like all these years I’ve worked so hard to maintain control, to be the man everyone knows, they just go out the window.