“You don’t get to know what’s in my head. You’ve more than proven you don’t give a fuck about me! Besides, what are you afraid of?” She asks as I tug on her hair. She winces, hands coming to my forearm to pry me off. “That you won’t get your payday if I’m dead? Or that you’ll have to answer to my brother? Because he will fucking kill you if you hurt me!”

“Is that it, then? You wanted to kill yourself?” I release her hair and sit back, keeping my weight on my thighs as I straddle her to keep her pinned.

“Like I said, you don’t care!” She slaps my chest. I let her. A look of surprise crosses her features when I don’t stop her, and she does it again, then again, then again. “Fight me, you bastard!” She slaps my face this time, but it’s hesitant.

“Stop, Mercedes.”

“Fight me!” She slaps harder, making my cheek sting.

I catch her wrists, grip them in one hand, and lay on top of her, my weight partially on the bed, partially on her.

“Fight!” she screams, and I look at her, seeing the sadness of it all, the truth of it. She would have hurt herself. Worse. That’s how far this has come.

“No,” I tell her. “Enough fighting.”

She struggles beneath me, eyes wet with hurt and tears and hopelessness.

“Mercedes.”

“Hit me!”

“Mercedes. Quiet.”

She shakes her head violently, tears unleashed.

“I do care about you. Don’t you know that?” I cup the back of her head and hold her to me. When I release her hands, she presses against me, slapping my chest, but it’s half-hearted. She’s spent.

“Quiet now.”

A sob breaks from her throat. And I just hold her for a long, long time. And then… and then… I don’t know what happens next. We’re so close, both of us naked, wet from the shower, from exertion, and I don’t fucking know, but I’m kissing her. I’m kissing her, and it’s like something inside my chest quickens, my heart faltering. She’s soft and inexperienced and yielding, and there’s a sudden stopping of time.

But I don’t stop. I can't.

I kiss her again and feel her breath, the warmth of her. Her taste salty with tears. Tears that belong to me.