I suck in a sharp breath and stare at him pleadingly. "I would rather die than hurt you, brother. Please believe that, if nothing else."

His eyes move over me, his grief palpable. He feels as if he’s lost me too. But instead of death, it was the darkness that stole me. I’m too far beyond redemption, and he’s tired of trying to save me. I can feel it in my bones. It rattles my teeth, and for a second, the agony makes me wish I were actually dead. Perhaps that would have been the best outcome for everyone tonight. If I’d given up the fight and let her win, at least I wouldn’t have had to witness this anguish from the one person who’s always loved me, even at my worst. I wouldn’t have to feel him giving up on me.

“Get in bed and try to get some sleep,” he says quietly.

“What’s going to happen now?” I argue.

“Now, you are going to get some sleep,” he repeats. “And when you wake up, you will start fresh.”

Hope breathes anew as I watch his posture relax with a sigh. I can see his resolve, his acceptance that we have no choice but to move forward and put this behind us. For a moment, a calm settles over me. Nothing is all right, and it won’t be for a long time, but Santiago isn’t giving up on me. Blood is the unbreakable bond that can’t be severed. We’ve been through too much. We’ve come too far to abandon each other in a time like this.

That relief wraps me in a warm cocoon, and I don’t dare utter another word. Santi is the head of our household, and in our world, that means his word is law. It doesn’t matter that I’m twenty-five years old. It’s his job to look after me, and he takes it very seriously. I haven’t been taking it seriously enough. I’ve already tested him too many times, and I know we’re on tenuous ground at best.

As I climb into bed and quietly secure myself beneath the covers, it’s a small way of showing him that I can listen. I can abide by the rules of The Society and do what’s expected of me. I can prove that I’m worthy again and find a way to move forward, even if I’m broken inside.