No. I knock that thought out before it has a chance to root. Absolutely not. I need to hear her now. I have been selfish, and I need to put her first.

And then there are the babies to consider. The thought that I won’t be a part of their lives is a reality I can neither understand nor accept. But accept it, I must. I have to let her get on with her life.

But what the fuck does that even mean? She’ll marry someone else? Let them bed her? Let them be a father to my children?

The thought sends a wave of raw fury through me.

I pull up to the front of the house, where Paolo has the Range Rover ready for me. It’s the car the dogs fit into. I walk into the house to find a flurry of activity, a sight I’ve not seen in too long. Lois and several of the staff are gathered around the little puppy who is putting on a show as they ooh and aah over her, petting her, and taking turns cuddling her. Even Pestilence is nudging the little Doberman with his nose, wanting to play.

“Judge,” Lois says, looking up at me from her crouched position. “She is too sweet by far!”

I have to admit, she is charming as she comes over to sniff my shoes, Pestilence settling at my side as I bend to pet her, turning her face up to mine to get a look at her.

“Does she have a name yet?” One of the girls asks.

I lift the puppy and straighten. “Not yet.” I’ll leave that to Mercedes. “Is the car loaded?” I ask Paolo.

“Yes. Mercedes will have enough supplies for a week, and I’ll drop by with more then.”

“Thank you,” I say and whistle for Pestilence to follow. Outside, I open the back of the Range Rover, and Pestilence jumps in. I set the puppy down beside him and watch Pestilence nudge her backward as I close the hatch.

Right now, given what’s happening with Vincent Douglas, I’d like nothing more than to drag Mercedes back to the house and lock her in my room to keep her safe. Well, Douglas is one of the reasons. This puppy is my effort at giving her the space she is asking for. But I’m not above a little emotional blackmail to get Mercedes back here of her own free will. I’ll take what I can get, any scraps she’ll offer me.

How the tables have turned, I think, as I climb into the driver’s seat and head to the condo.