“Thanks.” I get out of the car and walk inside in a daze.

I’m not convinced Solana’s instructions are actually going to work, but when I reach the front desk and tell them I’m here to check in under the name of Kelly Williams, the receptionist doesn’t question it.

“We’ve already received all your paperwork,” she tells me. “And it looks like you’re cash pay… and that’s been taken care of too. So you can go ahead and have a seat.”

I do exactly that, and while I’m sitting there, a few of the other women in the waiting room glance at me like I just crawled out of a drug-fueled rave. I can’t exactly blame them because I know I look like hell, but their judgment really isn’t helping my nerves.

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for a nurse to come and retrieve me. In the privacy of the exam room, she goes through the motions of getting my vitals and asking me a few questions while she types my responses into a tablet.

Once that’s finished, she instructs me to get on the table and get comfortable, as if that’s possible, informing me the technician will be in shortly.

I’m lying there staring at the ceiling when the tech comes in and greets me. I have another moment of panic as she gets to work, applying gel to my belly and explaining what she’ll be doing today. I don’t hear much of it. I’m just trying to focus on breathing because things are getting way too real.

It comes over me as the wand starts to move, and the noise becomes background to my racing thoughts. I’m going to be a mom to an actual baby, and I have no idea how I’m going to take care of either of us.

“It’s okay to be nervous…” The tech’s words drift off as I drag in a hollow breath.

Jesus, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. There’s going to be a tiny human relying on me. And truth be told, I don’t have the faintest clue how to be a good mother. My mother was decent, but she didn’t have a clue either, if I’m being honest. I know this because our housekeeper Antonia was the one who practically raised us.

“Oh, fucking hell,” I curse as tears spring to my eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay.” The tech pauses, and I feel like an idiot for crying in front of her. “It’s a very emotional time. I know it’s a lot, especially for a first-time mom, but you’re going to do great. I always joke that it’s better to get it out of the way with two babies in one go. Sink or swim, right?”