It’s undoubtedly footage from Lana’s apartment. I recognize the setting right away, my eyes moving to the very lamp I used to end her life. I clutch at my stomach, swaying slightly as Santi holds me tighter in his grasp. And then I watch in horror as one of the worst nights of my life is replayed for me.

On screen, I enter the apartment, pushing my way inside as soon as she opens the door. We have words. She laughs in my face, denies ever betraying me as she looks me in the eyes and tells me I’m insane. I grab her by the arm and tell her she’s coming with me, trying to hold her hostage with the small knife in my other hand. In retrospect, it was a stupid move, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I knew was that my brother had almost died again, and she had done it. She had poisoned him, and there was no alternative. She had to pay. But things didn’t go the way I thought.

Lana had some kind of self-defense training, and it became obvious when she disarmed me quickly and tried to swing the knife at my throat. I blocked her with my purse and then threw it at her face before I launched myself at her with everything I had. We both tumbled to the floor, and the knife skittered beneath the sofa. But it didn’t end there.

She came at me with an unexpected fury inside her, throwing her fists at my ribs, my chest, my throat, anywhere she could reach. I hadn’t ever been in a physical fight before. I was fighting blindly, throwing out haphazard slaps and punches, when she flipped me onto my side and socked me in the gut so hard I couldn’t breathe. Then she grabbed me by the hair, slamming my head against the floor, disorienting me. That’s when she started to crawl for the knife, and I knew only one of us was getting out of there alive.

I don’t even know how I staggered to my knees and grabbed the heavy glass lamp from the table. It must have been a moment of adrenaline. A pure survival instinct. I didn’t wait for her fingers to latch around the knife before I slammed the fat end of the lamp against the back of her skull. It made contact with a thud, and she grunted as she collapsed but recovered far too quickly. She was still reaching, still trying to get the knife, and I knew if she did, I was dead.