“I think that would be beneficial for all of us,” she says, shifting Elena so I can see her. "This is your niece, Elena Frances De La Rosa."

"She's beautiful." I bring a trembling hand to my lips, tears filling my eyes. "Can I hold her for a minute?"

Ivy looks at Santi, and he nods back at her. “That’s up to you.”

She considers it for a moment and then helps me take the small bundle into my arms. I stare down at her in awe, marveling at her innocence. That sweet baby smell. My heart floods with warmth, and I know everyone can see it. The tension radiating from Judge beside me is palpable, but I only have eyes for my beautiful niece. She’s truly amazing, and more than anything, I know I want and need to be a part of her life.

“One day, you will have your own,” Santi murmurs approvingly.

He couldn’t have any idea how much his words terrify me. I know he’s thinking way into the future, but at some point, he will learn it really isn’t that far off at all. Hoping they can’t see the flush crawling down my neck, I crack a joke.

“Maybe I’ll have a whole brood of them. Ten little monsters just like me.”

Santi snorts at the notion. “What do you think of that idea, Judge?”

Against all rational sense, my eyes snap up to his. “Yes, Judge. What do you think of that?”

He narrows his eyes, but it doesn’t hide his obvious displeasure at the thought. “She can do what she likes… once she’s proven herself capable.”

His answer feels as visceral as a slap to the face, and I wish more than anything I hadn’t heard it, even if I already knew deep down that’s how he feels. It serves as a reminder that I can’t let him in again. Every touch, every soft word… they are all designed to lure me back to him, but if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. It’s up to me now to leave him before he can make that decision. Before he can serve me the ultimate and most painful rejection of my life.

My baby deserves more than that, and I will never let our child know anything but love. I might not know much of it myself, but I will learn, and it will pour out of me so fiercely, I pray he or she will never feel his absence in the way I surely will.

“A conversation for another time,” Santi says, sensing the tension I wish wasn’t so obvious.

“Thank you for letting me meet her.” I hand Elena back to Ivy. “I suppose we should probably get going now.”