I can’t forget the look in my brother’s eyes when he saw me tonight. When he came to my rescue, the way he always has. I tried to explain it away, the way I always have. It was never intentional. I just needed to make things right. I was going to take that woman back to him so he could punish her for the things she’d done. But it didn’t work out that way. My flimsily constructed plan blew up in my face, and by the end of the night, it was my hands stained with her blood. There was no pride in what I’d done. Santiago certainly wasn’t proud.

He looked at me like I was a monster, and the worst part was, I couldn’t deny it. That’s what I’ve become, isn’t it? It’s why he brought me here, to the IVI compound instead of the safety of the manor. He doesn’t want me tainting the halls of our family home with the misery that seems to follow me everywhere. Now, there’s a voice in the back of my mind, whispering the fate I don’t want to accept.

He’s going to send me away.

As I step out of the shower, I try to muster up some denial, pacifying myself with paper-thin assurances. Santiago is the only family I’ve got left. He wouldn’t hurt me. Not like this. Not when he knows the pain of losing everyone we’ve ever loved. Our grief tethers us together for life. Our blood is the same. Our loyalty is unshakable. It’s the one truth I have to cling to.

I can be difficult. Intolerable at times. I won’t deny that. But he loves me regardless. He protects me, and I’m certain he always will. I can accept his disappointment in me. I can find a way to bear his shame, which can’t be worse than my own. But I will show him there’s still something in me to love. Something worth salvaging. I just have to pull myself together and figure it out. The way I always do.

I release a few shuddering breaths and force my gaze to the reflection in the mirror. I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. The woman with the long black hair and dark eyes may as well be a stranger. I feel detached from her. Empty. And it’s a fucking relief.

That means numbness is setting in. As long as I can stay like this… unfeeling, I can survive.

Robotically, I brush my hair and dress in the cheap sweats Santi bought me on the way here. They are a far cry from my usual clothing, but I don’t care. I’m exhausted, and I need to face him. I need to show him that it’s okay. I’ll find a way to fix everything.