Chapters (52)
- Cover
- Dedication
- OCTOBER 2014 London, UK
- PART ONE
- FEBRUARY 1976 London, UK
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- FEBRUARY 1976 London, UK
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MARCH 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MARCH 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MARCH 1976 Lausanne/Bern, Switzerland
- JUNE 2016 Lausanne, Switzerland
- MARCH 1976 London, UK
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MARCH 1976 London, UK
- PART TWO
- APRIL 1976 London, UK
- JUNE 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- APRIL 1976 Oxfordshire/London, UK
- JULY 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MAY 1976 London, UK
- JULY 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- MAY 1976 London, UK
- JULY 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- JUNE 1976 London, UK
- JULY 2016 Lausanne/Montreux, Switzerland
- JUNE 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- JULY 2016 Thun/Reichenbach, Switzerland
- JULY 1976 London, UK
- AUGUST 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- PART THREE
- AUGUST 1976 London, UK
- AUGUST 2016 Lausanne, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- AUGUST 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- AUGUST 2016 Montreux, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- AUGUST 2016 Montreux/Lutry, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- AUGUST 2016 Lutry, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 1976 Lausanne, Switzerland
- AUGUST 2016 Lutry, Switzerland
- OCTOBER 1976 London, UK
- AUGUST 2016 Vevey, Switzerland
- SEPTEMBER 2016 London, UK
- Author’s Note
- Acknowledgements
- More from the Author
- About the Author
I shake my head. ‘I think this is my therapy, being here in Switzerland. I need to find out the truth. I think that’s the only thing that’s going to help.’
He looks at me and his eyes make me shrivel. ‘You won’t find the truth in Julia’s drawers.’
‘I know.’ My cheeks burn and I hang my head. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’
He sighs, nods, seemingly convinced. ‘I won’t say anything. But if you mess up one more—’
‘I won’t,’ I interrupt him. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. No more snooping, I promise. And I’m going to watch Luca like a hawk.’
He gets up from the sofa and stands in front of me, his hands on his hips. ‘I have to go. I’m late for something. But look, Jess, I’m concerned about your state of mind with all this to deal with.’
‘I’m fine. I’ll be fine.’
He walks over to the kitchen and scribbles something on a bit of paper and comes back and hands it to me. ‘My number. If you ever feel like you’re going to throw yourself off a mountain or something, call me first, okay?’
When he leaves, I sit on the sofa, waiting for my pulse to slow. I feel winded, the breath knocked out of me by all I’ve said, all that’s taken place in the last few years. I don’t know how long I sit there in the silence, and so I’m startled when my phone throws out a short, sharp message alert, drawing me out of my thoughts. I pick it up and my heart jumps to see that it’s Daniel Buchs.
It’s brief, terse almost. Quite unlike his previous email.
May I ask why you want to find Brigitte Mela?
I drop the phone like it’s scalded me. He knows her. He knows my birth mother.
MAY 1976 London, UK
SYLVIA
They got the keys for the new flat in Kennington on a Wednesday evening after work. A two-bed garden flat in a Victorian terrace. It felt to Sylvia like a grown-up person’s home, a family home, far from the scruffy place she’d shared with Maggie for the past two years. It had a large double and a smaller room that was perfect as a nursery. A kitchen diner with plenty of space, a sitting room with a fireplace, original features, a patio. When Jim put his arm around her, smiled at the estate agent – ‘this is the one’ – she’d suppressed an urge to turn around and run out the door.