‘But it’s not always true, though, is it? I thought it was, growing up. I saw Mum, a successful journalist, just as Dad was, and I thought I could make whatever life I wanted, like she had. I thought I’d become a respected teacher, find a lovely husband, have a couple of kids. But here I am, with none of that right now, and it’s been painful to realise that life doesn’t always work out as Mum made me believe it could. Sometimes circumstances just work against you.’

I think back to my lowest point, a couple of weeks after Patrick and I split up, the shame and despair of standing in Peacock’s office, crying.

If things were different, I could have been going on maternity leave.

If the IVF had worked the first time.

If I hadn’t been so overwhelmed by the DNA results that I’d been able to continue the draining cycle of hormone injections and scans and disappointment.

If Patrick hadn’t cheated.

If I hadn’t lost my sense of self by walking into that blood donation van.

‘I still believe what your mother told you is true,’ Julia says. ‘Of course, it isn’t always easy – and you’ve been through some hard times. But you can pick yourself up and try again.’

I shrug. ‘I don’t know where to go from here.’

‘You have more than you think. You have your health, and that’s so important. It sounds like you’re close to your father, which is something I never had. And you are a respected teacher – you’ve made a huge impact on my children and for that I’m very grateful, however… envious I may have been of that.’

I blink to fight back the emotion prickling my eyes. Maybe she’s right; I can forge a new future, a good future, even if it isn’t the one I always thought I’d have. But first I need to get past what’s holding me back. ‘If you’d found out what I have, would you want to meet them?’ I say.

Julia sighs. ‘I can’t imagine what it must feel like, Jess. So I don’t know. I think you can only do what feels right to you. But I do think meeting them might be the first step in your new start, don’t you agree?’

My phone pings but I leave it in my bag.

‘I felt paralysed, you know, when I went to Reichenbach. I felt paralysed when I saw him. I was staring at the person who might be my real father and I couldn’t do it.’

‘Maybe it wasn’t the right time. But it doesn’t mean you’ll always feel like that. I can come with you, if you want. Or I could talk to him beforehand, be your mediator.’

‘You’d do that?’