‘Slight blip. R x’

‘???’

‘I need to find a new hairdresser.’

After a long think yesterday, while soaking in the bath with a glass of white wine and my Kindle for company, I realised that one thing I had fancied doing for ages was getting a new really good haircut. Nothing too drastic, but maybe a bit shorter, and a bit more shaped, and maybe a few highlights, and well … okay, something that made me feel a bit sexier.

My current hairdresser doesn’t really do sexy. She seems to specialise in trimming split ends off. Which, to be fair, is what I’ve been happy with. But I don’t come out feeling all swishy-haired and fabulous.

‘I’ll ask Sadie. Nx’

I am safe. One hundred per cent safe on the ‘he’s got no interest in me’ front. Unfortunately, I’ve still got a few issues with getting my imagination under control. But I suppose fantasising about him is okay, if I know that it is completely one-sided. Which I do know. So nothing will happen. Even if I sort-of wanted it to. Which I don’t.

‘Sadie?’ Okay I know it’s none of my business, but I’m still slightly miffed if he meant what he’d jokingly said, that he had plenty of days to proper date around our lessons.

Although I suppose I am being a bit hypocritical here – I’m going to be off dating other people as soon as I’m ready. Which hopefully will be soon. I’m running out of time.

‘Went out with her on Friday. Hang on. N x’

Oh. Right. I try not to be cross. But what’s Sadie like? Is she prettier than me? I bet Sadie isn’t direct and challenging. Or over-bubbly.

I’m beginning to think he’s disappeared off to see Sadie. The texts seem to have stopped. She probably gets several kisses on her texts, not just one.

‘Okay. Sadie’s given me the number of the guy she uses, said he was good at sexy-seductress stuff. N x’

‘You told her!!!’

Oh my God. The swine! Now Sadie knows he’s been enlisted to help out poor desperate dating disaster me. Is he going to tell everybody? I want to send an emoticon that says ‘I will kill you’ but can’t find anything even close, so send a devil face instead.

‘Chill. Said my sis was after a new sexy style, she mentioned him, I said yeah but can he do sexy? She kicked me and said, “what the fuck do you think mine is?” She also said “since when do girls ask for their brother’s help?!” I think I’ve been dumped, solves the problem of her thinking we might get serious! But I did get the hairdresser’s number first. Here it is. N x’

‘I am impressed at your devotion to the task, and the sacrifice. R x’

‘Not a problem. She was a bit scary, as in “can I move in?” scary, not scary like you. We’d only had one date! N x’