‘Mum!’

‘And think it’s right to lie to and deceive the people who love them. Anyway, when you were born, we were the adults and I was determined to try and make it work, but I honestly wonder if you’d have been better off without watching our sham marriage.’

‘It wasn’t a sham, Mum.’ I’ve always given Dad excuses, blamed me, blamed work, blamed a million and one things, but never really blamed him. Maybe I need to face up to it, like Mum has. Dad has, like Noah said, been a pretty shit father.

And Noah was right when he said that I should be the person I want to be, not the one I think Dad wants me to be. And Noah was right when he said that my list of requirements isn’t all it should be.

I don’t want a ‘Robbie’, I want somebody who is fun and makes me laugh. I want a little bit of the good things that Mum had.

Maybe there’s some truth in what she’s said though, about the sham marriage. Maybe this is why I’m so totally crap at adult relationships. If I’m so confused about who my parents are and what they want from each other and expect from me, how can I possibly know what I want for myself?

I take a deep breath. ‘You wanted to be with him, and I did too.’ Sharing more time at home would have been nicer, but that had never been the life Dad had mapped out, with or without his ‘Serenas’. He’d never have been a nine-to-five man.

‘True, at least you weren’t left with some stranger, or your grandparents I suppose! Who knows what effect they would have had on you! Oh heck, is that the time? I’m supposed to be going rollerblading. Better go.’

‘What?’ WTF? Rollerblading?

‘It’s good for the thighs, you should try it. Thunder thighs your dad used to call me when we were younger!’

I smile. I’ve been wrong. Whatever Mum’s been through hasn’t really changed her. She’s bounced right back. Maybe I need to take a leaf out of her book. Be me. Be brave. Maybe falling in love with the wrong guy wouldn’t be the end of the world after all.

Chapter 15

Two hours after Mum called, when I’d had a chance to shower, drink several cups of black coffee, and google HRT to see if it can cause extreme personality changes (the menopause has a lot to answer for, but I’m not sure it can be held totally responsible for Mum), my mobile rings.

‘Ropes.’

‘What?’ This was not the first word I thought Noah and I would share after our intense evening together.

Maybe he is one of those people who doesn’t recall anything they say after several drinks.

‘Our next lesson, I’ve decided we’re going to do it with ropes.’ He chuckles. Why has this made my mouth go indecently dry, and my body feel all hot and bothered?