‘It’ll do for now,’ I say, at the same time as my heart clunks down to my feet. ‘For today.’ I straighten my clothes and avoid looking at him. Because I don’t want him to see inside my head. I don’t want him to realise that I wanted that to be so much more than just a kiss. I don’t want him to see just how shaken up I am.

‘Good.’ His voice is soft. ‘You deserve the best you know.’

Chapter 21

You know that ‘Gavin won’t be here’ line? Not true. Gavin is the second person I see when we wander into Gemma’s back garden the next day for the barbecue.

The first person is her husband, Dan, who puts out a delaying arm and says, ‘You’re not going to like this.’

I don’t. Gavin-Gabe is no longer adorned with a toddler and a pram, he now has jeans, a T-shirt with the slogan ‘No ketchup, just sauce’ and a beer. What a dick.

‘He turned up on his own five minutes ago, says he left Linda at home with a crying baby and just fancied a beer and a break. He didn’t realise we’d have company.’

‘I can help with the breaking part.’ I realise I am growling through gritted teeth. ‘Will you hate me for ever if I go and punch one of your guests?’ I say to Dan. ‘Hi, by the way, I’m Rosie.’

‘I heard you were direct,’ says Dan, smiling. Shaking my hand.

I look at Noah, who holds his hands up, ‘not guilty, must have been Gemma!’

‘Feel free.’ Dan waves us through. ‘He denied everything; in fact he laughed in my face and Gemma has been seething ever since. He did this “Tinder? Not been on it since I met the woman of my dreams, must be an old account that’s somehow popped up” thing.’

‘I’ll give him old account!’

‘Be gentle, Rosie.’ Noah looks concerned. ‘It’s not him I’m worried about, it’s you. Don’t let him get to you.’

‘I won’t,’ I lie. I already have let him get to me. But I know what Noah is getting at. He doesn’t want me to mix this slimeball up with my dad, to let all the frustrations and anger that have built up over the years suddenly spill over the brim and leave me a soggy mess. ‘I’ll be fine, honest.’

I do, in fact, feel fine, as I march towards the man who a day ago made me snog Noah’s face off. He owes me big time, 1. For not turning up to our date, and 2. For making me kiss a man I really shouldn’t have.

Although maybe I owe him one. If it hadn’t been for that kiss in the park, then would the kiss in the bar have happened?

Although I still haven’t worked out if that was the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Noah hasn’t mentioned it. I haven’t mentioned it. We are moving on as though that tender moment never happened.